Stream of Life

Stream of Life

The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day

runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures.

It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth

in numberless blades of grass

and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.

It is the same life that is rocked in the ocean-cradle of birth

and of death, in ebb and in flow.

I feel my limbs are made glorious by the touch of this world of life.

And my pride is from the life-throb of ages dancing in my blood this moment.

- from the Gintanjali of Rabindranath Tagore

where the hell is matt?

its just such a beautiful video to make.
one people, one world.

we all dance.

birthday week updates

so my sister and brother-in-law were the first ones to gift me. Hugo Boss's newest fragrance for men: Hugo Pure.

then nura, yanni and azmi with these books: Moomin, a comic...which up till now i dunno whether it is about a cow or a hippo. and persepolis - critically acclaimed art film about sanctions and gender discrimination in iran.

then taufiq and azfar bought me a camera. the pentax optio m40. been wanting to get me a lens for the longest time.

and then almir bought me a levi's watch. black with red screen. just the way i like it.

abu and rezuan got me hush puppies white shoes. hehe. always wanted to look cool in white shoes, but never got the guts to go buy it. well, now some people bought it for me... so no excuse not to look cool.

yups. so that's for now. birthday week ends on sunday. so let's see what else we can get, HAHAHAHA.

pre-birthday celebrations

photos will hopefully come soon.

yanni and nura planned a lunch and karaoke session. and i had a ball of a time there with the girls and azmi and taufiq. we were also celebrating azmi's advance on 17 june. karaoked our butts off. i hope the video is not uploaded. haha.

then met afiq and chris for max brenner's. i finally got my max brenner's. and it was good good good good good good good...

hahaha...

then watched a short concert at the esplanande, and then took a leisurely ride home.

what's happening tomorrow?
i don't know!

finally the updates 3

ok i do not have the pics yet. but in the period of may to early june, we observed and celebrated the matrimony of 4 happy newlyweds.

Ashraf and Yati on 25 May 2008.
Siddiq and Fazlinah on 31 May 2008.
Syahid and Renee on 1 June 2008.
Fareez and Murshidah on 8 June 2008.

I will update with pictures accordingly.

May Allah bless the couples and their unions as husband and wife, and may Allah give them a happy and long-lasting marriage and home, guided with faith and love always. Amin.

finally the updates 2

something happened to a close friend, and it was a big thing.
and while initially i was out of the loop, i am thankful that this friend managed to recollect himself in time to prevent what could have possibly been a very very big mistake.

however, the whole incident did leave me angered and frustrated for a while, and at times it did seem that the friendship would end there. because i just could not take being treated with such nonchalance, and being taken for granted.

and that frustration was acted out, and other people also got the brunt of it.
and another close friend received a cold shoulder from me for it.

for my own lack of control and temperance, i caused others to suffer.

but luckily all that has passed, and we have somehow all made up.
i just want to bury it and let it pass.

not a very beautiful thing to remember, but important nonetheless.

finally the updates 1

ended the hoopoe's class close to the end of may.

and it dawned upon me how much i will miss having some form of spiritual engagement on tuesday nights. and that last day, i was actually tearing when i walked away from the place. i was wanting more. although the hoopoe had an upcoming class on fridays at al-falah, i unfortunately could not make it for that class.

i guess i will miss the intimacy of the class that the hoopoe had.
and the way he presented his lessons, which always seem to touch deeper.

and i will miss him as a teacher who is hip and up-to-date with the times, contemporary and moderate.

and of course that is that something more. few teachers are around whom you know you can speak to on different levels, and engage them on different levels. i regret not having gotten to know him better before this, and now that he is leaving for the US, i regret possibly not being able to get to know him better, until after he comes back.

but our paths takes us to all places, and we learn from everyone.
i just hope that our paths will cross again, and i will be able to receive guidance and light from him once again.

may Allah bless his endeavours and efforts in guiding us to the Path, and for being who he is.

just wondering

who will present me the most precious gift?

quiet weeks

but not so quiet heart.

actually a lot has happened in the past few weeks.

where do i start?

haha.

wherever it is convenient then.

will update on:
ending of the hoopoe's classes
fights and makeups
weddings

the young ones

its been a good 14 years since my secondary school days.
but as they say, the bestest friends are made in those days.

these are the friends we begin to build strong relationships with, the ones with whom we go through the most testing of our pubescent years, and the ones with whom we fall in love with just by virtue of them being around the longest.

and how much we have changed since then.

and yet the friendship remains.

azfar is getting engaged soon, alhamdulillah.
zul is getting married not so long after.
fahmy and firdaus are getting hitched too, though news have not reached us.

haha... how we've grown.

*i've got tears in my eyes*

fairness

so everyone else gets to complain. but me.
sigh, the fairness of it.

did something today

and i was reminded of what the hoopoe excerpted, about hatching out the helpless inside.
to be utterly and totally at His Mercy, and to feel utterly and totally without power.

all things happen for a reason. even what happened yesterday.
and i have to accept it and thank Him that it happened, because i was moved to do what i did.

and then He reminded me.

"Verily, my prayers, my worship, my life and my death are for God, Master of the Worlds. There is none equal to Him, and this I have been commanded, and I am of the believers."

accept from me, Allah, and forgive me.

sleep it all away

bawled my eyes out.
but it was comforting.

feel much better... but just for good measure, will still abstain.

matter of fact

that even the best of people are flawed.
that even the best of friends can let you down.
that even the hardiest of souls can be worn out.

that everyone has the capacity to cause hurt.
that everyone has the capacity to feel hurt.
that everyone does either, at one time or the other.

that others are empathetic.
that others are apathetic.
that others are emotionally sensitive, or emotionally inept.

MALAS. MALAS. MALAS.

at this stage i want to cuss and swear, and cry my heart out.

david cook final 3 performance

american idol. he deserves it.

mess within

i think i need to be away for a while.
i feel more messed up than i have ever been for a long long time.

just been thinking

about the future.

how once everything seemed so near and clear.
and how suddenly now it seems just fuzzy and blur.

maybe it is just my fear, my lack of vision or plans to set things in gear.
or maybe it is just that i sense the currents swiftly flowing, and i have become unable to steer.

and everything, everyone, is moving away from here.
only the void is near.

relief

i was glad you told him.
in my humble opinion, of all people, he deserved to know.
although i don't understand why you decided to hide it before hand.

you guys went through so much together, worked so long and hard together.
so i really just feel that it was the right thing for you to do.
and i am glad you did it.

and i believe it was also a burden off your shoulders.

now you have someone to talk to about the whole thing, and wanting to prepare for it.
much better than before right?

arrogance

to be so is to set yourself as being above others.
fear that Allah brings you down and shames you before others because of your arrogance.
even the slightest words, and the slightest actions may be seen as arrogance.
and you will be taken to task for it.

i guess i was arrogant just now.
and i got the recompense quite immediately.
because i was shunned and hurt.

Allah forgive me, and free me from arrogance.

of the favours God granted, are we not thankful?

On Resurrection Day God will say,
“What did you do with the strength and energy your food gave you on earth?
How did you use your eyes?
What did you make with your five senses while they were dimming and playing out?
I gave you hands and feet as tools for preparing the ground for planting.
Did you, in the health I gave, do the plowing?”

You will not be able to stand when you hear those questions.
Youwill bend double, and finally acknowledge the glory.

God will say,
“Lift your head and answer the questions.”

Your head will rise a little, then slump again.

“Look at me! Tell what you’ve done.”

You try, but you fall back flat as a snake.

“I want every detail. Say!”

Eventually you will be able to get to a sitting position.

“Be plain and clear. I have given you such gifts. What did you do with them?”

You turn to the right looking to the prophets for help, as though to say, I am stuck in the mud of my life, Help me out of this!

They will answer, those kings,
“The time for helping is past. The plow stands there in the field. You should have used it.”

Then you turn to the left, where your family is, and they will say,
“Don’t look at us! This conversation is between you and your Creator.”

Then you pray the prayer that is the essence of every ritual:

God,
I have no hope. I am torn to shreds.
You are my first and last and only refuge.

Don’t do daily prayers like a bird pecking, moving its head up and down. Prayer is an egg.

Hatch out the total helpless inside.

The Soul of Rumi
excerpted from the hoopoe