clarity and non-clarity

had a good talk yesterday. sincerest one ever. told things that i never thought i would have said ever. but it helped to make things clear, and set things in perspective. so that is good.

but what was the effect?

i know that things did get through. but i still do not know what the outcome is. and what the outcome will be. for the first time, i am lost for words, and lost for emotions truly.

i have been left free to do what i saw fit. as long as i am happy. but my actions will be judged nonetheless.

is it that difficult to make demands, and to decide what you want, instead of letting me have reign?

it goes back again. vicious cycle.

*head finally throbbing*

non-interneticus et mobilus phonus absentus

disease: non-interneticus

symptoms: intense malaise and boredom, withdrawal from virtual world, loss of finger dexterity due to decreased typing activities, general misinformation due to decreased socialisation; may also lead to depression and temper flares, and unexplainable poopiheadiness

disease: mobilus phonus absentus

symptoms: phantom fingering of number pad, hyposmses, reduced desire for conversation and speech; also depressive and a sense of hopelessness

treatment: drug called fuloos, a highly debatable anti-depressive which may result in side effects like hyperactivity, hypersocialism, and hyperspenditis, leading to other possible conditions like empticus walletus,eventually leading to more problems such as the two mentioned above, in addition to parentus admonishus and emotional liabilities like sadditis and feelingus like suicidus.

i am currently only suffering from mild non-interneticus and mobilus phonus absentus. No drug treatment been prescribed yet.

but dunno how long i can survive.

flaming financial filligrees

never realised how much of a financial f-wit i am till the last week.

now, i am without an active handphone line, an internet broadband connection, and a sustenance.

so to all who read and who interact with me on a nightly basis, my apologies beforehand, as i wont be around for a period of time, till i resolve my crap. but i can still receive calls and smses. so i wont be totally cut off.

those who want photos, you can wait.

all the others, have a freaking good life ahead without me.

zoning out, depressed and utterly demoralised and unmotivated,
Nizar

BRAVO KITSITRA!

it has finally come to pass...

again, another event which brought people together, physically and emotionally has come to an end. Awallah Dondang, organised by NTU-NIE PERBAYU, was a wonderful experience, especially so when you gained so much from it.

firstly, congratulations to the organising committee, for putting together a fantastic cast and crew, and for managing the needs of the performers with a deft hand and a sypathetic heart. it was really something that made us give our all... and also, thank you for realising our talents and giving us the opportunity to showcase that talent...

KITSITRA had a brilliant run during the process of preparing and performing for AD... talent-spotted twice (first by Teater Variasi, a contemporary performing arts group, and second, by none other than Zubir Abdullah, a notable in the Malay Arts scene)... the best performance ever by the group... respect for the maturity that we portrayed... a chance to meet new friends who exhibit great potential in the arts scene... and most importantly to me, the re-strengthening of the bond between old friends...

KITSITRA was conceptualised from an activity we had in jc, gema puisi, where we came together to explore a new art form - artistic poetry. then when we all went to university, it resurfaced again, this time with nura and murshidah spearheading the renaissance. our group expanded to include

razak - lead guitarist and cutie :)
azfar - percussions and cutie too :)
taufiq - vocalist and dancer
osh - bassist, vocalist, hunk
farida - dancer, costumer and soon to be vocalist
hamdan - visual arts engineer... not so cutie...

bringing us to a total of 9 people - 9 supa-talented people (to quote farida's supa catchphrase) whose gifts bring about the art that is KITSITRA... and 9 wonderful people whose friendships are among the most treasured ones to me...

we began with pesta pujangga, which was not so supa due to technical errors which left us very dejected... but the spirit of the group, and knowing the material that we had and what we were made of pushed us onwards... and we were invited to perform again for Awallah Dondang... and no technical errors this time round at least with the music... and i am proud to say, we delivered what we needed to. the crowd was silent and at the end, the applause said it all. the feedback was superb. and we are happy, happy people.

thank you all for this experience, and i know that there will be more to come...

just that...when?

this is the one thing i hate. that at the end of events, we wont meet up as often due to our daily activites and priorities. as it was before. sigh.

and even more so, with my NTU loves. AD was something i really looked forward to 'cos i know i would see them there. now that its done, when will i be able to see them again?

only time will tell.