super inspirational song. and video.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
the story of the AMO
so we had a meeting just now, 'cos a friend wanted to know what it was like working for them, 'cos she was considering working there.
so cute la the replies my dear AMO gave.
Q: Are there differences in the work allocation?
A: Understandably, the ladies are given work in less physically demanding environments... such as the Fragile Forest... where they work with butterflies... (HAHAHAHAHA)
so cute right? but what was meant was the men do the more labour-intensive work, whereas the ladies do the more meticulous tasks which require patience and finesse.
and this AMO was also so "Dodgeball" la... when the phrase the World Association of Zoos of the World (HAHAHAHA) escaped the mouth.
lepak. i miss you and laughing with (or was it at) you, bro.
don't be a stranger please.
we love you. *huggies*
so cute la the replies my dear AMO gave.
Q: Are there differences in the work allocation?
A: Understandably, the ladies are given work in less physically demanding environments... such as the Fragile Forest... where they work with butterflies... (HAHAHAHAHA)
so cute right? but what was meant was the men do the more labour-intensive work, whereas the ladies do the more meticulous tasks which require patience and finesse.
and this AMO was also so "Dodgeball" la... when the phrase the World Association of Zoos of the World (HAHAHAHA) escaped the mouth.
lepak. i miss you and laughing with (or was it at) you, bro.
don't be a stranger please.
we love you. *huggies*
Sunday, August 26, 2007
blackle.
hey all... a little effort goes a long way.
"…If Google had a black screen, taking in account the huge number of page views, according to calculations, 750 mega watts/hour per year would be saved."
In response Google created a black version of its search engine, called Blackle , with the exact same functions as the white version, but obviously with lower energy consumption.
Help spread the word… use www.blackle.com
"…If Google had a black screen, taking in account the huge number of page views, according to calculations, 750 mega watts/hour per year would be saved."
In response Google created a black version of its search engine, called Blackle , with the exact same functions as the white version, but obviously with lower energy consumption.
Help spread the word… use www.blackle.com
Thursday, August 23, 2007
soulmate
"Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone..."
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
should it come to pass...
it was a beautiful message, my dear.
"should it come to pass that i fail you, forgive me and love me still."
and i am still lost for words to reply.
except that i am the one in need of forgiveness, and that the love, by His Grace, will remain eternal.
God, bless my friends who love and are loved in return, and increase us in our affection towards each other, and towards You. forgive us our trangressions towards each other and towards You, and guide us with the virtues and strengths of each other towards You.
"should it come to pass that i fail you, forgive me and love me still."
and i am still lost for words to reply.
except that i am the one in need of forgiveness, and that the love, by His Grace, will remain eternal.
God, bless my friends who love and are loved in return, and increase us in our affection towards each other, and towards You. forgive us our trangressions towards each other and towards You, and guide us with the virtues and strengths of each other towards You.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
slighted
i know i am not the most perfect of people.
i know that i can speak badly of others, and have so many things to say about them, especially when they irritate me. and yet when i am in front of them, i can put up so many pretenses that they don't know it is them that i am irritated at.
and i know that i sometimes shoot my mouth off when i am with my closer ones. and that's because i believe that they won't take offence, because i say things in jest. because i believe that i don't need to have any pretenses around them.
but i know i go too far sometimes.
and people get slighted.
for that, i apologise.
but for my beliefs, i guess i can also feel slighted, because what i thought i could come to expect, apparently is not true.
but its ok.
'cos really, of what value am i to concern others?
i know that i can speak badly of others, and have so many things to say about them, especially when they irritate me. and yet when i am in front of them, i can put up so many pretenses that they don't know it is them that i am irritated at.
and i know that i sometimes shoot my mouth off when i am with my closer ones. and that's because i believe that they won't take offence, because i say things in jest. because i believe that i don't need to have any pretenses around them.
but i know i go too far sometimes.
and people get slighted.
for that, i apologise.
but for my beliefs, i guess i can also feel slighted, because what i thought i could come to expect, apparently is not true.
but its ok.
'cos really, of what value am i to concern others?
Thursday, August 16, 2007
spending my time
What's the time?
Seems its already morning
I see the sky, its so beautiful and blue
The TV's on
But the only thing showing is a picture of you
Oh, I get up and make myself some coffee
I try to read a bit but the story's too thin
Then I thank the Lord above
That you're not there to see me
In this shape I'm in
Spending my time
Watching the days go by
Feeling so small I stare at the wall
Hoping that you think of me too
I'm spending my time
I try to call but I don't know what to tell you
I leave a kiss on your answering machine
Oh, help me please
Is there someone who can make me
Wake up from this dream?
Spending my time
Watching the days go by
Feeling so small I stare at the wall
Hoping that you are missing me too
I'm spending my time
Watching the sun go down
I fall asleep to the sound Of "tears of a clown"
A prayer gone blind
I'm spending my time
My friends keep telling me: Hey, life will go on
Time will make sure I will get over you
This silly game of love you play, you win only to lose
this song came to mind, as i was telling a friend how much i enjoyed the past few days, just being with. and how true each stanza of the song rings, in terms of what resounds in my mind. but how each hope just plays on as a fantasy, unable to be fulfilled.
just enjoy it while you can, and while we can.
Seems its already morning
I see the sky, its so beautiful and blue
The TV's on
But the only thing showing is a picture of you
Oh, I get up and make myself some coffee
I try to read a bit but the story's too thin
Then I thank the Lord above
That you're not there to see me
In this shape I'm in
Spending my time
Watching the days go by
Feeling so small I stare at the wall
Hoping that you think of me too
I'm spending my time
I try to call but I don't know what to tell you
I leave a kiss on your answering machine
Oh, help me please
Is there someone who can make me
Wake up from this dream?
Spending my time
Watching the days go by
Feeling so small I stare at the wall
Hoping that you are missing me too
I'm spending my time
Watching the sun go down
I fall asleep to the sound Of "tears of a clown"
A prayer gone blind
I'm spending my time
My friends keep telling me: Hey, life will go on
Time will make sure I will get over you
This silly game of love you play, you win only to lose
this song came to mind, as i was telling a friend how much i enjoyed the past few days, just being with. and how true each stanza of the song rings, in terms of what resounds in my mind. but how each hope just plays on as a fantasy, unable to be fulfilled.
just enjoy it while you can, and while we can.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
next phase of life
congratulations to all my friends who have recently tied the knot.
may the unions last a lifetime, blessed and felicitous, come the generations ahead.
and with those words, i express one of my deepest fears.
of friends moving apart once they cross the threshold into the next phase of life.
indeed there are a few who are already halfway there. and among them, those closest to me.
while i laud them for their ample provisions, and i am proud that they have made the choice to go on one step further, i just hope that that step is not a step further away from me. call it what you may, but yes, i have separation anxiety issues. although it is not quite as bad as it sounds, i think some part of me would grief the loss of how things were before.
so. there.
smile i may, but cry i still will.
may the unions last a lifetime, blessed and felicitous, come the generations ahead.
and with those words, i express one of my deepest fears.
of friends moving apart once they cross the threshold into the next phase of life.
indeed there are a few who are already halfway there. and among them, those closest to me.
while i laud them for their ample provisions, and i am proud that they have made the choice to go on one step further, i just hope that that step is not a step further away from me. call it what you may, but yes, i have separation anxiety issues. although it is not quite as bad as it sounds, i think some part of me would grief the loss of how things were before.
so. there.
smile i may, but cry i still will.
expectations again
sin·cer·i·ty
n. The quality or condition of being sincere; genuineness, honesty, and freedom from duplicity.
qualities of which i don't have. or at least i think are begging serious consideration.
why this entry came about is that the past few times we went out, i have had these expectations laden upon you, whether you know it or not. but more often than not, those expectations are not satisfied. but it seems that only i see it as something that is important.
i spoke to uan about it, and he said that for these things, he has given up expecting already. but uan also said that i am not an easy person to sometimes work with, given my fluctuating energy levels. and that means that people may sometimes find it hard to match me. i inferred that there are times when people just need to get away from me, and that there are other times, when they cannot fulfill my expectations whatever they are.
i have been reminded often by my closest friends to not expect, because expectations make you more susceptible to feeling disappointed. and it is implicit as well, that when you expect, your sincerity is also put to question. are you doing something, expecting a returns, or are you doing something out of your own free will?
my question back is - can't we do something because we like it, and yet expect something in return? at the end of the day, intrinsically, someone does something because he likes the feeling he gets through the completion of the activity. it does not have to be an expectation of somebody, it can just be an expectation of the self by the self. so despite how it seems so selfless, altruistic behaviour serves the inner self and fulfills the emotional needs of the inner self... not so selfless now are we?
but that is besides the point. i do want to be treated differently, i.e. more special. and i am not shy about saying it. because it is the strongest thing that drives me to do things for you. but i shall choose the "nobler" path, and pretend that its ok how things are. we are just good friends, and that we are not indebted to each other.
i can't impose my expectations can i? but i do not wish to be duplicitous, so that is why i am writing here. so at least i have ventilated my thoughts on the matter.
n. The quality or condition of being sincere; genuineness, honesty, and freedom from duplicity.
qualities of which i don't have. or at least i think are begging serious consideration.
why this entry came about is that the past few times we went out, i have had these expectations laden upon you, whether you know it or not. but more often than not, those expectations are not satisfied. but it seems that only i see it as something that is important.
i spoke to uan about it, and he said that for these things, he has given up expecting already. but uan also said that i am not an easy person to sometimes work with, given my fluctuating energy levels. and that means that people may sometimes find it hard to match me. i inferred that there are times when people just need to get away from me, and that there are other times, when they cannot fulfill my expectations whatever they are.
i have been reminded often by my closest friends to not expect, because expectations make you more susceptible to feeling disappointed. and it is implicit as well, that when you expect, your sincerity is also put to question. are you doing something, expecting a returns, or are you doing something out of your own free will?
my question back is - can't we do something because we like it, and yet expect something in return? at the end of the day, intrinsically, someone does something because he likes the feeling he gets through the completion of the activity. it does not have to be an expectation of somebody, it can just be an expectation of the self by the self. so despite how it seems so selfless, altruistic behaviour serves the inner self and fulfills the emotional needs of the inner self... not so selfless now are we?
but that is besides the point. i do want to be treated differently, i.e. more special. and i am not shy about saying it. because it is the strongest thing that drives me to do things for you. but i shall choose the "nobler" path, and pretend that its ok how things are. we are just good friends, and that we are not indebted to each other.
i can't impose my expectations can i? but i do not wish to be duplicitous, so that is why i am writing here. so at least i have ventilated my thoughts on the matter.
Monday, August 13, 2007
circles of trust
at some point in time in our lives, we find that we are the confidantes of other people. and that with this sense of knowing what only a few people know, circles of trusts are formed. the requirements for each circle of trust may be different for each person, and the prerequisites for entering the circle of trust are blur and fuzzy.
and being in the circle of trust entails certain behaviours and expectations from those who were entrusted. but seriously, sometimes it sucks, because you cannot be natural. yes yes, you see through different eyes when you are in a circle of trust, but you cannot act upon the knowledge. because when you do, you risk endangering the secrecy, and the privacy upon which that trust was built. and then a million other people and things get involved, and you regret ever having been in the circle of trust.
and i pity some of my friends who were affected by this la. come on, its seriously not our fault la. we dun intentionally hurt or offend or psychologically affect other people what... we are not manipulators... we are just really good busybodies.
but i understand all that was said yesterday.
which is why i just wanna revert to how i used to gain my knowledge in the past. just by being. because when you least expect it, all the news in the world comes to you...
then maybe... just maybe...
and being in the circle of trust entails certain behaviours and expectations from those who were entrusted. but seriously, sometimes it sucks, because you cannot be natural. yes yes, you see through different eyes when you are in a circle of trust, but you cannot act upon the knowledge. because when you do, you risk endangering the secrecy, and the privacy upon which that trust was built. and then a million other people and things get involved, and you regret ever having been in the circle of trust.
and i pity some of my friends who were affected by this la. come on, its seriously not our fault la. we dun intentionally hurt or offend or psychologically affect other people what... we are not manipulators... we are just really good busybodies.
but i understand all that was said yesterday.
which is why i just wanna revert to how i used to gain my knowledge in the past. just by being. because when you least expect it, all the news in the world comes to you...
then maybe... just maybe...
fazli zainal - harapan
Doaku agar kaukan selalu bahagia,
Agar kau temui insan tulus menyayangimu,
Lepaskanlah diriku kerna keredhaanmu,
Bukan kerna dendam jua bukan kerna kau terpaksa,
Ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu,
Ku undur diri bersama harapan.
Tidak kesampaian cinta kita,
Kubawa harapan kupendam rahsia,
Ku dikejauhan mendoakan,
Agar kau bahgia tiada lagi duka.
Daku rela mengundur diri,
Ku pasti dikaukan fahami…
Tiada penyesalan kasihku korbankan
Andai telah tertulis kuterima ini bukannya kupinta,
Oh pergilah dikau diiringi keikhlasanku,
Cuma pengalaman mengisi kekosongan mimpiku…
Agar kau temui insan tulus menyayangimu,
Lepaskanlah diriku kerna keredhaanmu,
Bukan kerna dendam jua bukan kerna kau terpaksa,
Ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu,
Ku undur diri bersama harapan.
Tidak kesampaian cinta kita,
Kubawa harapan kupendam rahsia,
Ku dikejauhan mendoakan,
Agar kau bahgia tiada lagi duka.
Daku rela mengundur diri,
Ku pasti dikaukan fahami…
Tiada penyesalan kasihku korbankan
Andai telah tertulis kuterima ini bukannya kupinta,
Oh pergilah dikau diiringi keikhlasanku,
Cuma pengalaman mengisi kekosongan mimpiku…
Saturday, August 11, 2007
wonderful world by james morrison
I've been down so low, people look at me and they know,
They can tell something is wrong, like I don't belong,
Well, staring through a window standing outside there just too happy to care tonight
I wanna be like them but I'll mess it up again,
I tripped them out when God kicked outside everybody's soul.
And I know that it's a wonderful world
But I can't feel it right now,
Well I thought that I was doing well but I just wanna cry now,
Well I know that its a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea,
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me.
Sometimes I feel so full of love it just comes spilling out,
It's uncomfortable to see I give it away so easily,
But if I had someone I would do anything and never never never never let you feel alone
I won't, I won't leave you on your own,
Who am I to dream, dreams are for fools, they let you down.
Well I know that it's a wonderful world but I can't feel it right now
But I thought I was doing well but I just wanna cry now,
Well I know that its a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea,
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me.
And I wish that I could make it better,
I'd give anything for you to call me,
Maybe just a little letter
Oh it could start again.
And I know that it's a wonderful world but I can't feel it right now,
Well I thought I was doing well but I just wanna cry now,
Well I know that its a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea,
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me.
I know that its a wonderful world, I can't feel it right now,
I've got all the right clothes to wear, I just wanna cry now,
Well I know that it's a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea,
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me.
And I know that it's a wonderful world when you're with me.
They can tell something is wrong, like I don't belong,
Well, staring through a window standing outside there just too happy to care tonight
I wanna be like them but I'll mess it up again,
I tripped them out when God kicked outside everybody's soul.
And I know that it's a wonderful world
But I can't feel it right now,
Well I thought that I was doing well but I just wanna cry now,
Well I know that its a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea,
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me.
Sometimes I feel so full of love it just comes spilling out,
It's uncomfortable to see I give it away so easily,
But if I had someone I would do anything and never never never never let you feel alone
I won't, I won't leave you on your own,
Who am I to dream, dreams are for fools, they let you down.
Well I know that it's a wonderful world but I can't feel it right now
But I thought I was doing well but I just wanna cry now,
Well I know that its a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea,
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me.
And I wish that I could make it better,
I'd give anything for you to call me,
Maybe just a little letter
Oh it could start again.
And I know that it's a wonderful world but I can't feel it right now,
Well I thought I was doing well but I just wanna cry now,
Well I know that its a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea,
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me.
I know that its a wonderful world, I can't feel it right now,
I've got all the right clothes to wear, I just wanna cry now,
Well I know that it's a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea,
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me.
And I know that it's a wonderful world when you're with me.
Monday, August 06, 2007
of secrets
the more secret a person has, the sadder that person is.
haha.
touche à celui qui l'a indiqué à moi. parce-qu'elle soutient elle-même les secrets million et un. mais il fait vraiment beau de savoir ce que d'autres pas. et pour être en cercle intérieur de confiance. et pour voir d'autres avec de nouveaux yeux, si vous savez ce que veux dire-je...
haha.
ps: congrats to that friend of mine, who laments that no one celebrates her accomplishments.
haha.
touche à celui qui l'a indiqué à moi. parce-qu'elle soutient elle-même les secrets million et un. mais il fait vraiment beau de savoir ce que d'autres pas. et pour être en cercle intérieur de confiance. et pour voir d'autres avec de nouveaux yeux, si vous savez ce que veux dire-je...
haha.
ps: congrats to that friend of mine, who laments that no one celebrates her accomplishments.
inspire-treat
hehehe... in order to plan for and attend this event, i siammed so many work commitments. wahlaoz. if they knew, i fear the kind of trouble i will get into. not that its anything bad la. just that i put my powers of manipulation to very good use i must say.
but that's besides the point.
the retreat was simply fabulous.
and i would term it successful beyond words.
hahaha... although i had to bbq my butt off (ok i did it of my own free will... no complaints there) and bear with the sweltering heat of the heavens and the pits of the... well.... pits, it was all worth it. the people who came made up for all the suffering i went through... from the FOC freshies to the FOC adhoc to all my dearest friends... wah... felt really good at the end of the day... and got to spend some quiet time with some of the closer ones... which just left me so fulfilled... t'was good, really good. and i felt that all my sacrifices were simply washed away at the end of the retreat.
sigh.
why did it have to end? hahaha... back to work.
but that's besides the point.
the retreat was simply fabulous.
and i would term it successful beyond words.
hahaha... although i had to bbq my butt off (ok i did it of my own free will... no complaints there) and bear with the sweltering heat of the heavens and the pits of the... well.... pits, it was all worth it. the people who came made up for all the suffering i went through... from the FOC freshies to the FOC adhoc to all my dearest friends... wah... felt really good at the end of the day... and got to spend some quiet time with some of the closer ones... which just left me so fulfilled... t'was good, really good. and i felt that all my sacrifices were simply washed away at the end of the retreat.
sigh.
why did it have to end? hahaha... back to work.
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