sigh, a little scare there for me with regards to my application to NYP...the medical checkup had a little hitch which left me 1)distressed unnecessarily, 2)almost suing the examining doctor for causing me the unnecessary distress, 3)surfing the net for management of hypertensive patients, 4)knowing more about hypertension and 5)taking drugs. just a small issue with regards to the definition of uncontrolled hypertension and i was set rolling on all the above...
but one fateful check up, a high pressure reading, a second opinion, some propranolol, lots of starfruit, bittergourd, celery and plain water, and a second successful reading... and i am now on my way to completing the forms, readying them for submission early tomorrow. yay.
30th june is kilirjati. and we still got some way to go before the characterisation of the dance is complete. i am kinda spiffed out...what not with awallah dondang training and work in the way. and i so need to go back to foc as well. so work is finally coming to an end by next tuesday, wednesday is the dance performance and after that, insya Allah, we are homebound my NTU brothers and sisters.
awallah dondang is also coming along fine, miss the group more than i thought, and we have a name now...KITSITRA...cool aye?
friends are in and out of trouble and distress themselves, i pray for their peace and happiness despite all that happens. and that at the end of the day, everything will turn out for the better hopefully. just have faith and strength. and remember, if i am not around, you can always turn to Him.
finally things are falling in place.
endings and beginnings.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Friday, June 18, 2004
addition to kembara
after my closing supplementations, i was crying like a babe. and someone totally unexpected came up to me to hold me, and i was very moved by that action. and i will forever remember that he came up to me to comfort me, when no one else thought they could. and it felt good holding a dear friend and being held, after so long.
i dedicate this entry to that someone, who showed that indeed he was made of a different quality than other people, and that indeed he deserved to be as loved as he is.
for that day, i am indebted for life.
zul, blessed be.
i dedicate this entry to that someone, who showed that indeed he was made of a different quality than other people, and that indeed he deserved to be as loved as he is.
for that day, i am indebted for life.
zul, blessed be.
forgiven
and on the night of my birthday, i wrote in to tell you about azfar, someone who took four months to apologise to me.
but it was well worth the wait.
that night, i was gifted with most wonderful words, and a torrent of emotions i never expected to come from him. and however torn my heart was, it is now healed and stronger than ever. and insya Allah, things will take a turn for the better from now onwards.
just a word of advice to all, when you think you should apologise, please do not let your ego stand in the way. and really think of the worst thing that could happen if you did not apologise and then be motivated by it. we are all just human.
and we need each other.
more than we think we do.
but it was well worth the wait.
that night, i was gifted with most wonderful words, and a torrent of emotions i never expected to come from him. and however torn my heart was, it is now healed and stronger than ever. and insya Allah, things will take a turn for the better from now onwards.
just a word of advice to all, when you think you should apologise, please do not let your ego stand in the way. and really think of the worst thing that could happen if you did not apologise and then be motivated by it. we are all just human.
and we need each other.
more than we think we do.
the wonders of His Will
for those who have been reading my blog tag-board, and has no idea, this is what it is all about. and the entry is belated by about 2 days.
alhamdulillah, i have successfully gotten myself into the occupational therapy course in nanyang polytechnic, a course which really really calls to my multi-faceted nature [ :) ] as a social creature, someone who is interested in the health and medical industry and someone who wants to help people. alhamdulillah, my prayers were answered, and not without the augmentary prayers of my dearest family and friends, who undyingly gave their support, despite the possible circumstances of my departure.
for understanding and empathising with me, and for standing by me through it all, my deepest gratitude. and most of all, may we all achieve our desired successes in all our efforts, and may we obtain His Pleasure in everything that we do. Alhamdulillah.
and it could not come at a better time either.
on 16 june, i was supposed to register for my subjects in civil engineering. and i was totally at a loss as to what i was supposed to do. working and without internet access at the warehouse, i did not want to call up any of my friends to do the registering for me. but as i was contemplating it, my mother gave me a call to tell me the good news. alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.
so i did not need to register for my subjects after all. insya Allah, all will be well.
and when i went home to check the letter, it was dated 15 june 2004. coincidence, or gift? you decide.
alhamdulillah, i have successfully gotten myself into the occupational therapy course in nanyang polytechnic, a course which really really calls to my multi-faceted nature [ :) ] as a social creature, someone who is interested in the health and medical industry and someone who wants to help people. alhamdulillah, my prayers were answered, and not without the augmentary prayers of my dearest family and friends, who undyingly gave their support, despite the possible circumstances of my departure.
for understanding and empathising with me, and for standing by me through it all, my deepest gratitude. and most of all, may we all achieve our desired successes in all our efforts, and may we obtain His Pleasure in everything that we do. Alhamdulillah.
and it could not come at a better time either.
on 16 june, i was supposed to register for my subjects in civil engineering. and i was totally at a loss as to what i was supposed to do. working and without internet access at the warehouse, i did not want to call up any of my friends to do the registering for me. but as i was contemplating it, my mother gave me a call to tell me the good news. alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.
so i did not need to register for my subjects after all. insya Allah, all will be well.
and when i went home to check the letter, it was dated 15 june 2004. coincidence, or gift? you decide.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
on this fateful day...
though no words would be enough to heal the pains i have caused you, please believe me when i say that my only wish is for peace between us. i apologise with all my heart for all the wrongs that i have done to you, and apologise for not being strong enough to overcome my limitations. i hope that life has been kinder to you and that you find peace in my absence. best wishes on your 22nd birthday. sincerely, azfar.
it took him about four months to apologise.
and had to do it on my birthday.
it took him about four months to apologise.
and had to do it on my birthday.
KemBARA '04
i am still reeling from the overwhelming emotions brought about by the camp. the friends, the late nights, the scrambles and most importantly, the kids. you never expected that you would become so attached over just a period of 3 days, would you? but we did, and in fact, i feel that everyone, regardless of appointment, did.
when the kids first came, they were rowdy and loud (not to say that that was bad...) but at some points in time, they were really becoming unbearable because of their over-active and boisterous natures. some facilitators were very close to giving up, and some lost their voices but fortunately, all never lost their drive to keep on trying. the activities that were held did not only test our patience as elders, but also our tenacity as a group and our physical endurance. the kids were not easy to manage, many being very mischievous. and this was of course made worse by the fact that some kids could not get along with each other, in a typical kid's sense - small trivialities and disagreements. and we had to defuse the conflicts many a times to prevent anyone from getting hurt.
the first day, i shall honestly say, was horrendous.
the second day, however, was truly pleasurable.
and the third day, absolutely heart-wrenching.
it was all about getting to know the kids better, and understanding their psyche, and at the very least, getting through to them on some levels. and how i tried, with varying success.
for me, the first high point came on the first day when the kids started calling me "big boss". for me it showed a certain sense of acceptance and identity from the kids to me, and at least it showed the much-hoped for appreciation for my efforts in getting to know them.
the second day, at east coast park, i was imam for zuhur prayers. before we prayed, rahimin came forward and asked me questions on being an imam and the prayers. that was the second time, i felt that we were achieving something in the camp. then after prayers, i announced a tag that was found and wanted the owner to come forward. the owner was rahimin. the faci who found the tag sort of gave rahimin a scolding, which rahimin did not take very kindly to, and he began to cry. i tried to placate him but when my efforts did not get through, i started to break down together with the kid.
that was when i had a first taste of how the facis truly felt trying to handle difficult kids. but when other people took over, they merely comforted him with an ice-cream, and he was all better. sigh, talk about understanding kids. and he forgot the whole incident by the time he reached the camp site from east coast park. while he could have forgotten easily, adults like me don't. i will just take it as a good lesson learnt.
the third day, the kids were really less rowdy and there was a marked improvement in terms of the kids' cooperation and general behaviour. and that was the day when we could actually see how much respect they had for their elders and how much they did not really mean to behave the way they did.
abu choreographed a dramatic beginning to the day's activity. he kicked a dustbin and scolded the facis in front of the kids, which got the kids really shocked. the funny thing was, when he was giving instructions to the facis, the kids immediately reacted to the instructions without the facis needing to tell them. that, to me, was truly reflective of how they did not want to get anyone into trouble and how young they really were. the game that followed required them to rescue a faci from their group who was kidnapped. and they actually cried out for their facis whole-heartedly. it was very touching and most moving to see them beg for the release of their facis.
then later on in the day, to complete the whole activity, abu had another pretense. he called four kids up to the front, stating discipline as the problem. the kids were really not ready for what was to come. then when the kids were already standing in the front, the adults came in with... 4 birthday treats, singing "Allah selamatkan kamu". and the kids in front cried. and i could not help myself either. i cried too while comforting them.
hafiedzul had another reflections session on the kids' appreciation of their parents. that was truly difficult to sit through, especially when you had to comfort the kids who were tearing silently. it was a moving experience, especially when you know the kids come from broken backgrounds and they were here for that love which was missing in their lives. and that behind the facades of toughness and rebelliousness, they were all still children with sensitive hearts and a most emotional nature.
and before the kids left, i had a closing du'a ceremony. i cried openly there, and so did many of those who were in the room with me. the kids hugged their facis after that, and left me a torrent of tears.
just before they boarded the bus, i went around and salamed the boys. and i prayed for their keep in God's hands. and may they be well always. i waved to them in the bus and blew kisses and my eyes became watery again. sigh.
i never expected this. never.
and even as i write this now, i am tearing.
but i will do it all over again.
when the kids first came, they were rowdy and loud (not to say that that was bad...) but at some points in time, they were really becoming unbearable because of their over-active and boisterous natures. some facilitators were very close to giving up, and some lost their voices but fortunately, all never lost their drive to keep on trying. the activities that were held did not only test our patience as elders, but also our tenacity as a group and our physical endurance. the kids were not easy to manage, many being very mischievous. and this was of course made worse by the fact that some kids could not get along with each other, in a typical kid's sense - small trivialities and disagreements. and we had to defuse the conflicts many a times to prevent anyone from getting hurt.
the first day, i shall honestly say, was horrendous.
the second day, however, was truly pleasurable.
and the third day, absolutely heart-wrenching.
it was all about getting to know the kids better, and understanding their psyche, and at the very least, getting through to them on some levels. and how i tried, with varying success.
for me, the first high point came on the first day when the kids started calling me "big boss". for me it showed a certain sense of acceptance and identity from the kids to me, and at least it showed the much-hoped for appreciation for my efforts in getting to know them.
the second day, at east coast park, i was imam for zuhur prayers. before we prayed, rahimin came forward and asked me questions on being an imam and the prayers. that was the second time, i felt that we were achieving something in the camp. then after prayers, i announced a tag that was found and wanted the owner to come forward. the owner was rahimin. the faci who found the tag sort of gave rahimin a scolding, which rahimin did not take very kindly to, and he began to cry. i tried to placate him but when my efforts did not get through, i started to break down together with the kid.
that was when i had a first taste of how the facis truly felt trying to handle difficult kids. but when other people took over, they merely comforted him with an ice-cream, and he was all better. sigh, talk about understanding kids. and he forgot the whole incident by the time he reached the camp site from east coast park. while he could have forgotten easily, adults like me don't. i will just take it as a good lesson learnt.
the third day, the kids were really less rowdy and there was a marked improvement in terms of the kids' cooperation and general behaviour. and that was the day when we could actually see how much respect they had for their elders and how much they did not really mean to behave the way they did.
abu choreographed a dramatic beginning to the day's activity. he kicked a dustbin and scolded the facis in front of the kids, which got the kids really shocked. the funny thing was, when he was giving instructions to the facis, the kids immediately reacted to the instructions without the facis needing to tell them. that, to me, was truly reflective of how they did not want to get anyone into trouble and how young they really were. the game that followed required them to rescue a faci from their group who was kidnapped. and they actually cried out for their facis whole-heartedly. it was very touching and most moving to see them beg for the release of their facis.
then later on in the day, to complete the whole activity, abu had another pretense. he called four kids up to the front, stating discipline as the problem. the kids were really not ready for what was to come. then when the kids were already standing in the front, the adults came in with... 4 birthday treats, singing "Allah selamatkan kamu". and the kids in front cried. and i could not help myself either. i cried too while comforting them.
hafiedzul had another reflections session on the kids' appreciation of their parents. that was truly difficult to sit through, especially when you had to comfort the kids who were tearing silently. it was a moving experience, especially when you know the kids come from broken backgrounds and they were here for that love which was missing in their lives. and that behind the facades of toughness and rebelliousness, they were all still children with sensitive hearts and a most emotional nature.
and before the kids left, i had a closing du'a ceremony. i cried openly there, and so did many of those who were in the room with me. the kids hugged their facis after that, and left me a torrent of tears.
just before they boarded the bus, i went around and salamed the boys. and i prayed for their keep in God's hands. and may they be well always. i waved to them in the bus and blew kisses and my eyes became watery again. sigh.
i never expected this. never.
and even as i write this now, i am tearing.
but i will do it all over again.
Friday, June 04, 2004
giving it up
it only recently struck me, that in my pursuit of OT, i will be losing some other things that were in my plans for a long time.
poly and uni terms begin differently. and if i get into OT, i will not be able to join FOC. and with that in mind, i had to reluctantly give up my camp coordinater post to fadiah, whom i am sure will be a brilliant CC. it's just that there were so many things that i wanted to do in the camp, or at least i know i could do in the camp. there were so many things i wanted to be involved in. there were so many people i still wanted to get to know. there were so many emotions i wanted to feel and revel in throughout the whole process. there were just so many things...so many.
when it first dawned upon me that my involvement had to be cut short, i was really really depressed. the idea of not being able to contribute as effectively, the idea that i am now out of the circle, the idea that i will not be meeting my dear beloved friends, it all brought me to a state of gloom. and that gloom pervaded my being even throughout the mock camp. abu felt it, and tried to make me feel better, but at the end of the day, its really just me.
i put this as an apology, that i never meant to pull out of the camp, not in any way. and the fact that i had to pull out really breaks my heart to a million pieces. no words can adequately describe this feeling that i go through now, not when i was so geared up, and not when suddenly, i find myself stranded in the middle of nowhere.
lost.
i really love you guys so much. that camp would have bolstered our friendship even more. but OT is a choice that i have to make. and i thank you all for understanding. at this moment when we need each other even more than ever, i had to leave. but i do not leave you with nothing at all. my prayers for your successful integration, my prayers for your fantastic planning, and my prayers for the ultimate memorable camp that NTUMS has ever seen.
and my prayers and love for you all.
i am here whenever you need me.
VENATORIS will always be our brain-child, and our effort together. and i thank you all for the memories.
poly and uni terms begin differently. and if i get into OT, i will not be able to join FOC. and with that in mind, i had to reluctantly give up my camp coordinater post to fadiah, whom i am sure will be a brilliant CC. it's just that there were so many things that i wanted to do in the camp, or at least i know i could do in the camp. there were so many things i wanted to be involved in. there were so many people i still wanted to get to know. there were so many emotions i wanted to feel and revel in throughout the whole process. there were just so many things...so many.
when it first dawned upon me that my involvement had to be cut short, i was really really depressed. the idea of not being able to contribute as effectively, the idea that i am now out of the circle, the idea that i will not be meeting my dear beloved friends, it all brought me to a state of gloom. and that gloom pervaded my being even throughout the mock camp. abu felt it, and tried to make me feel better, but at the end of the day, its really just me.
i put this as an apology, that i never meant to pull out of the camp, not in any way. and the fact that i had to pull out really breaks my heart to a million pieces. no words can adequately describe this feeling that i go through now, not when i was so geared up, and not when suddenly, i find myself stranded in the middle of nowhere.
lost.
i really love you guys so much. that camp would have bolstered our friendship even more. but OT is a choice that i have to make. and i thank you all for understanding. at this moment when we need each other even more than ever, i had to leave. but i do not leave you with nothing at all. my prayers for your successful integration, my prayers for your fantastic planning, and my prayers for the ultimate memorable camp that NTUMS has ever seen.
and my prayers and love for you all.
i am here whenever you need me.
VENATORIS will always be our brain-child, and our effort together. and i thank you all for the memories.
OT interview
3 june was the fateful day, the day upon which my whole future depends on, the day which i had been waiting for since the last 2 months...
i took the whole day off from work, just so that i could prepare myself physically and mentally for what was to come. i knew that i should have been feeling nervous, but the night before, there was a sort of quiet calm which left me, well, rather unemotional. as how shafur put it, its the calm before the storm. i could not agree more.
i woke up feeling very unsure of how the interview would be. i dressed myself in a two-tone long-sleeved shirt with brown pants, and packed my bag, so as to give a professional look. gelled my short hair up as much as i could, to give an impression of youthful zest and set off, not before asking for my mother's blessings and prayers. i took a cab to nanyang poly and gave the admissions personnel a call.
then i was invited into the interview room.
there were 3 on the panel, though only 2 were interviewers. mr yap from PT, mr lee from OT and miss teng from admissions office. i was introduced to them, and i shook their hands and seated myself across the table.
mr lee began by asking about my friends in OT, namely siddiq and melissa. so i told them my relations. they then went on to ask about my university education, and since i already pre-empted the "why the change from engine to OT, why the change from uni to poly, what do you see yourself doing in OT, how are you doing in uni" questions, i shall not delve too deeply, apart from saying that these questions have had their answers prepared and so can be considered well answered.
we then went on to my background and family support to the change in course of study. i told them my role in the army, and my position as a leader and overall in charge of the management of casualties. i told them about my hospital attachment which was the primary motivating factor to entering the healthcare industry. i told them about my social nature and the need to interact with people rather than machines and technical work. i told them about the change in mindset that i effected in my parents with respect to poly education.
there were of course some interesting questions that they posed.
Q: How many years were you in University?
A: Just a year, I have just completed my first year.
Further response from them: Oh, then no problem with the tuition grant, you are still eligible. (is this a positive response or what?)
Q: Why OT and not PT?
A: As I understand it, PT involves a lot more physical handling of injuries and rehabilitation of these injuries. OT on the other hand, involves other aspects such as mental health, environmental and social factors in the rehabilitation process. I want to engage myself in a wider range of human activities. I believe that OT can provide me with a course of study that fits my interests better.
Q: As you know there are many people who are applying for OT. It is very competitive. So why should we choose you?
A: You should choose me because you yourself agreed that my decision to change from Uni to Poly is indeed a big sacrifice and it shows a great deal of determination from me. I hope that that fact will bear some weight in your decision-making. But apart from that, you should definitely choose me because of my background in the medical and healthcare industry, as well as the experience that I have had in handling patients. My experience in leading a group towards a common goal would also be valuable in projects. All in all, I am sure that you will definitely find me an asset for OT.
Q: If there were a stroke patient, who is now totally unmotivated to carry on with life, and feels that rehab is utterly useless, what will you do to help him/her?
A: The approach towards such a patient has to be a very integrated one. There may be many ways which we can actually help the patient, but what matters is that the approach is a multi-faceted one. We can perhaps effect small changes in the rehab methods that we use, we can change the environment that the patient is exposed to, we can work towards a greater family support. All of these changes must be monitored and the patient's responses duly observed. If the patient's response is positive, then the modifications should be made permanent and improved upon. Otherwise, trial and error would eventually come up with a suitable solution towards the problem. Once again, most importantly, you have to approach the patient from many ways and styles.
Q: Apart from Bahasa and English, what other languages can you speak?
A: I can speak a bit of Mandarin (this sentence was spoken in Mandarin to prove a point)
That was among some of the more interesting questions that were posed to me.
after the interview, i gave siddiq a call, and related to him the interview. and he said the question on the stroke patient was exceptionally well-answered. apparently, i used proper OT terms which scored points, seeing that i was new to it.
just now, melissa said that she met up with mr lee, and mr lee actually asked her about me. and he REMEMBERED MY NAME. melissa said that there was a positive undertone to the conversation she had with mr lee about me.
so that's the interview. although i really did not feel any tingling feeling, at least i did not leave the place feeling bad at all. when i think back about it, i actually feel pretty good. but i guess this is just me taking my precautions, and having done all i can, i am leaving it all now to God.
friends, please pray for me. i really want to go into this course and i feel i can really perform and succeed here. so please pray for my successful entry, and God bless you all for your prayers.
Ilahi anta maqsudi wa ridhaka matlubi mahabbataka wa ma'rifataka...
Bismillahi tawakkaltu 'ala Allah, la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah...
i took the whole day off from work, just so that i could prepare myself physically and mentally for what was to come. i knew that i should have been feeling nervous, but the night before, there was a sort of quiet calm which left me, well, rather unemotional. as how shafur put it, its the calm before the storm. i could not agree more.
i woke up feeling very unsure of how the interview would be. i dressed myself in a two-tone long-sleeved shirt with brown pants, and packed my bag, so as to give a professional look. gelled my short hair up as much as i could, to give an impression of youthful zest and set off, not before asking for my mother's blessings and prayers. i took a cab to nanyang poly and gave the admissions personnel a call.
then i was invited into the interview room.
there were 3 on the panel, though only 2 were interviewers. mr yap from PT, mr lee from OT and miss teng from admissions office. i was introduced to them, and i shook their hands and seated myself across the table.
mr lee began by asking about my friends in OT, namely siddiq and melissa. so i told them my relations. they then went on to ask about my university education, and since i already pre-empted the "why the change from engine to OT, why the change from uni to poly, what do you see yourself doing in OT, how are you doing in uni" questions, i shall not delve too deeply, apart from saying that these questions have had their answers prepared and so can be considered well answered.
we then went on to my background and family support to the change in course of study. i told them my role in the army, and my position as a leader and overall in charge of the management of casualties. i told them about my hospital attachment which was the primary motivating factor to entering the healthcare industry. i told them about my social nature and the need to interact with people rather than machines and technical work. i told them about the change in mindset that i effected in my parents with respect to poly education.
there were of course some interesting questions that they posed.
Q: How many years were you in University?
A: Just a year, I have just completed my first year.
Further response from them: Oh, then no problem with the tuition grant, you are still eligible. (is this a positive response or what?)
Q: Why OT and not PT?
A: As I understand it, PT involves a lot more physical handling of injuries and rehabilitation of these injuries. OT on the other hand, involves other aspects such as mental health, environmental and social factors in the rehabilitation process. I want to engage myself in a wider range of human activities. I believe that OT can provide me with a course of study that fits my interests better.
Q: As you know there are many people who are applying for OT. It is very competitive. So why should we choose you?
A: You should choose me because you yourself agreed that my decision to change from Uni to Poly is indeed a big sacrifice and it shows a great deal of determination from me. I hope that that fact will bear some weight in your decision-making. But apart from that, you should definitely choose me because of my background in the medical and healthcare industry, as well as the experience that I have had in handling patients. My experience in leading a group towards a common goal would also be valuable in projects. All in all, I am sure that you will definitely find me an asset for OT.
Q: If there were a stroke patient, who is now totally unmotivated to carry on with life, and feels that rehab is utterly useless, what will you do to help him/her?
A: The approach towards such a patient has to be a very integrated one. There may be many ways which we can actually help the patient, but what matters is that the approach is a multi-faceted one. We can perhaps effect small changes in the rehab methods that we use, we can change the environment that the patient is exposed to, we can work towards a greater family support. All of these changes must be monitored and the patient's responses duly observed. If the patient's response is positive, then the modifications should be made permanent and improved upon. Otherwise, trial and error would eventually come up with a suitable solution towards the problem. Once again, most importantly, you have to approach the patient from many ways and styles.
Q: Apart from Bahasa and English, what other languages can you speak?
A: I can speak a bit of Mandarin (this sentence was spoken in Mandarin to prove a point)
That was among some of the more interesting questions that were posed to me.
after the interview, i gave siddiq a call, and related to him the interview. and he said the question on the stroke patient was exceptionally well-answered. apparently, i used proper OT terms which scored points, seeing that i was new to it.
just now, melissa said that she met up with mr lee, and mr lee actually asked her about me. and he REMEMBERED MY NAME. melissa said that there was a positive undertone to the conversation she had with mr lee about me.
so that's the interview. although i really did not feel any tingling feeling, at least i did not leave the place feeling bad at all. when i think back about it, i actually feel pretty good. but i guess this is just me taking my precautions, and having done all i can, i am leaving it all now to God.
friends, please pray for me. i really want to go into this course and i feel i can really perform and succeed here. so please pray for my successful entry, and God bless you all for your prayers.
Ilahi anta maqsudi wa ridhaka matlubi mahabbataka wa ma'rifataka...
Bismillahi tawakkaltu 'ala Allah, la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah...
Thursday, June 03, 2004
fun-filled days, mood-chilled heart
me and nura went to the awallah dondang briefing session on tuesday afternoon. and while they presented their ideas and concepts, nura and me felt that it was going to be a really fun and exciting and ultimately, successful performance. we could feel the vibe, because the whole organisation was really tight. and this time round, there would be no screw ups. nura and myself have some really cool ideas to the conceptualisation of the performance, and i hope that the ideas will keep on flowing and integrating themselves. and all in all, i hope that the ideas can actually manifest and realise themselves for the actual performance. because i am sure that if our concepts can be manifested, this performance will be one to remember for a long time.
awallah dondang will happen on 31 july. kilir jati will happen on 29 june. two big-scale performances back to back. two huge commitments. one not so huge person to be involved. sigh. i think i am going to be really stretched, but in a good way.
but nura went out of her way to invite the idiot back. and i have to bear with it. because i am doing it for those who are worth doing it for, and not the other way round. and i have to live up to my words. so lucky them to be those who are worth doing it for. because otherwise, i would not have bothered in the least.
went to westmall, met with ratna and shikin. miss them too, and had a great conversation, in typical old friends' style. want to do it more often with them. then met abang maizal and terrence and amin abang maizal's friend and fat bitch and fat bitch's friend hide (pronounced he-they, japanese style) where a furious discussion on the business proposal of an arts bistro went underway. terrence was interested in investing...$50K at that...what a friend...i hope things turn out for the best.
wednesday, i met up with old bitch and fat bitch. had gelare ice cream twice because chambermaid gave us a discount. had pizza hut with the bitches in between. miss chambermaid a lot, and chambermaid misses us too. miss the old times when we were all happy together. and all were happy with the meeting. and then met with fat bitch's friends at lido for harry potter: the prisoner of azkaban. it was a brilliantly dark, mature and satisfying portrayal of the book. the characters were all grown up...yummy.
had my OT interview just now, will write about it in another entry. also went to the LOTR exhibition, where i wanted to buy so many things, but sadly, i did not have the money for them. the exhibition was pretty interesting, with so many things that could be really studied and examined. i was simply awed by the whole affair being put together, and the genius behind the making and realisation of LOTR. someone had said that it was not worth the admissions fee. well that someone clearly did not have the patience to go through things as how they should have. typically an idiot. me and suhaila had a really good time there. we are more aware now of the effort that went into making an epic come to life...yeah.
then someone had to spoil the day. if you are reading this friend, yah you did. blaming me for my advice, good or bad, is really not the way to go. if you can't take advice, do not go around asking for it, especially if you took it and things did not turn out the way you expect. i am not a prophet, with the ability to foresee how things would turn out. i hate being placed in the hot spot when clearly, it was your lack of sense and judgement that screws things up, not my words. so i am not giving you any more advice, because you, in danger of becoming an idiot to me, are proving yourself unworthy of it. tread carefully. suhaila was my witness here.
so there, supposedly fun-filled days, but my mood was severely chilled by the events that came along.
awallah dondang will happen on 31 july. kilir jati will happen on 29 june. two big-scale performances back to back. two huge commitments. one not so huge person to be involved. sigh. i think i am going to be really stretched, but in a good way.
but nura went out of her way to invite the idiot back. and i have to bear with it. because i am doing it for those who are worth doing it for, and not the other way round. and i have to live up to my words. so lucky them to be those who are worth doing it for. because otherwise, i would not have bothered in the least.
went to westmall, met with ratna and shikin. miss them too, and had a great conversation, in typical old friends' style. want to do it more often with them. then met abang maizal and terrence and amin abang maizal's friend and fat bitch and fat bitch's friend hide (pronounced he-they, japanese style) where a furious discussion on the business proposal of an arts bistro went underway. terrence was interested in investing...$50K at that...what a friend...i hope things turn out for the best.
wednesday, i met up with old bitch and fat bitch. had gelare ice cream twice because chambermaid gave us a discount. had pizza hut with the bitches in between. miss chambermaid a lot, and chambermaid misses us too. miss the old times when we were all happy together. and all were happy with the meeting. and then met with fat bitch's friends at lido for harry potter: the prisoner of azkaban. it was a brilliantly dark, mature and satisfying portrayal of the book. the characters were all grown up...yummy.
had my OT interview just now, will write about it in another entry. also went to the LOTR exhibition, where i wanted to buy so many things, but sadly, i did not have the money for them. the exhibition was pretty interesting, with so many things that could be really studied and examined. i was simply awed by the whole affair being put together, and the genius behind the making and realisation of LOTR. someone had said that it was not worth the admissions fee. well that someone clearly did not have the patience to go through things as how they should have. typically an idiot. me and suhaila had a really good time there. we are more aware now of the effort that went into making an epic come to life...yeah.
then someone had to spoil the day. if you are reading this friend, yah you did. blaming me for my advice, good or bad, is really not the way to go. if you can't take advice, do not go around asking for it, especially if you took it and things did not turn out the way you expect. i am not a prophet, with the ability to foresee how things would turn out. i hate being placed in the hot spot when clearly, it was your lack of sense and judgement that screws things up, not my words. so i am not giving you any more advice, because you, in danger of becoming an idiot to me, are proving yourself unworthy of it. tread carefully. suhaila was my witness here.
so there, supposedly fun-filled days, but my mood was severely chilled by the events that came along.
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