Tuesday, November 27, 2007
validation
everyone needs a little validation now and then.
in fact, life is one huge process of validation.
you act, someone acknowledges, and you respond further to that acknowledgment.
in itself, that is validation.
the affirmation that a certain action that you take has value to someone else.
validation is therefore important as a social reinforcer, and as a nurturer of what we deem as appropriate actions and responses. the importance of validation is seen in many social theories, and is a primary backbone to Erikson's psychosocial dissertation. people build themselves up from childhood all the way to adulthood through the process of positive and negative validations.
hence relationships, any relationships, are a product of some sort of validation process. constant validation is needed to ensure that all parties in the relationship are a part of, rather than apart from. consider working in a group, and you do a mass email. some reply and some don't. for those who replied, it is a direct signal and validation that they have processed the email (positive validation). for those who don't, you are not too sure if they feel strongly, or even have read the email (negative validation).
so we begin to see that in building relationships, validation remains crucial to ensuring the relationship works. many a times, we quarrel and disagree, because there is a lack of validation.
one party perceives a lack of affirmation, and based on certain social rules and norms, judges that situation to be uncharacteristic of a good relationship. cumulative effects from multiple incidents may result in a biased analysis, and cause disharmony.
point in note - everyone needs a little validation now and then. do not take things for granted.
in fact, life is one huge process of validation.
you act, someone acknowledges, and you respond further to that acknowledgment.
in itself, that is validation.
the affirmation that a certain action that you take has value to someone else.
validation is therefore important as a social reinforcer, and as a nurturer of what we deem as appropriate actions and responses. the importance of validation is seen in many social theories, and is a primary backbone to Erikson's psychosocial dissertation. people build themselves up from childhood all the way to adulthood through the process of positive and negative validations.
hence relationships, any relationships, are a product of some sort of validation process. constant validation is needed to ensure that all parties in the relationship are a part of, rather than apart from. consider working in a group, and you do a mass email. some reply and some don't. for those who replied, it is a direct signal and validation that they have processed the email (positive validation). for those who don't, you are not too sure if they feel strongly, or even have read the email (negative validation).
so we begin to see that in building relationships, validation remains crucial to ensuring the relationship works. many a times, we quarrel and disagree, because there is a lack of validation.
one party perceives a lack of affirmation, and based on certain social rules and norms, judges that situation to be uncharacteristic of a good relationship. cumulative effects from multiple incidents may result in a biased analysis, and cause disharmony.
point in note - everyone needs a little validation now and then. do not take things for granted.
last raya photo for the year
still not over it? ermmmm...
just one last one.
the 6th annual ri boys gathering at abu sufian's.
I think there are about 5 batches in the photo above. our record was a good 7 batches i think.
haha.
the story of layla and majnun
Follow Your Heart: The Story of Layla and Majnun
By J. T. Coker
Layla and Majnun have been characters for Sufi poets, as Krishna was for the poets of India. Majnun means absorption into a thought and Layla means the night of obscurity. The story is from beginning to end a teaching on the path of devotion, the experience of the soul in search of God. -- Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan
The story of Layla and Majnun is one of the most popular in the Islamic world, enduring in legends, tales, poems, songs, and epics from the Caucasus to Africa and from the Atlantic to the Indian Ocean. Scholars find good reasons to believe that the central character -- Qays, nicknamed Majnun (Madman) -- lived in northern Arabia in the second half of the seventh century, five hundred years before the poet Nizami. At the behest of the Transcaucasian chieftain Shervanshah, Nizami collected many of the widely dispersed traditional versions and wove them into his great narrative poem.
No one knows the number of translations of Nizami's work in the many languages encompassed by Islamic religious culture, but at least forty Persian and thirteen Turkish versions are known, and one scholar states that there are actually over a hundred versions in those two languages alone. An English translation appeared in 1836 which relied on an incomplete text with later additions by lesser poets (this text was used by Eric Clapton in the late 1970s for certain lyrics on his recording Layla and Other Love Songs). The translation by Dr. Rudolf Gelpke [The Story of Layla and Majnun by Nizami, trans. and ed. by Dr. Rudolf Gelpke, English version in collaboration with E. Mattin and G. Hill, Omega Publications, New Lebanon, NY, 1997; all page references are to this edition] published originally in 1966, offers insights into medieval Arabic culture and mores. Though cast in prose, poetry lovers will catch fulfilling glimpses of Nizami's poetic and mystic genius. Moreover, the Omega edition includes the work's final chapter, translated by Zia Inayat Khan and Omid Safi.
The story begins with the Sayyid, a man of wealth, power, and prestige, desiring a son and heir. He importunes Allah, who grants his request. The beauty of his son Qays "grew to perfection. As a ray of light penetrates the water, so the jewel of love shone through the veil of his body." At the age of ten, Qays goes to school and meets his kismet/fate, Layla. "Does not 'Layl' mean 'night' in Arabic? And dark as the night was the color of her hair." Love struck them both; others noticed, tongues wagged, and Qays first tastes bitterness. He refrains from seeing her, but his heart breaks and he begins to slip into melancholy. Layla's tribe, to protect her (and their) honor, deny her right to see him, and he falls into madness: "A madman he became -- but at the same time a poet, the harp of his love and of his pain."
In time Majnun runs away into the wilderness, becoming unkempt, not knowing good from evil. His father takes him on pilgrimage to Mecca, to seek God's help in freeing him, but Majnun strikes the Kaaba and cries "none of my days shall ever be free of this pain. Let me love, oh my God, love for love's sake, and make my love a hundred times as great as it was and is!" He continues to wander "like a drunken lion," chanting poems of Layla's beauty and his love. Many come to hear him. Some write down the poems he spontaneously speaks.
Meanwhile, Layla holds their love quietly so none will know she lived between the water of her tears and the fire of her love, . . .
Yet her lover's voice reached her. Was he not a poet? No tent curtain was woven so closely as to keep out his poems. Every child from the bazaar was singing his verses; every passer-by was humming one of his love-songs, bringing Layla a message from her beloved . . .
Refusing suitors, she writes answers to his poems and casts them to the wind.
It happened often that someone found one of these little papers, and guessed the hidden meaning, realizing for whom they were intended. Sometimes he would go to Majnun hoping to hear, as a reward, some of the poems which had become so popular. . . .
Thus many a melody passed to and fro between the two nightingales, drunk with their passion.
Eventually Layla is married to another, but refuses conjugality. Being in love, her husband accepts her condition of an outward marriage only. Majnun learns of the marriage and of her faithfulness. Neither his father nor his mother, when near death, can induce him to return to his people. Wild animals, loving rather than fearing him, congregate in his presence, protecting him. One night Majnun prays to Allah, thanking Him for making him the pure soul he now is and asking God's grace. He sleeps, and in his dream a miraculous tree springs from the desert, from which a bird drops a magic jewel onto his head, like a diadem.
An old man, Zayd, helps Layla and Majnun to exchange letters and finally to meet, though she cannot approach him closer than ten paces. Majnun spontaneously recites love poetry to her, and at dawn they go their separate ways.
Nizami asks:
"For how long then do you want to deceive yourself? For how long will you refuse to see yourself as you are and as you will be? Each grain of sand takes its own length and breadth as the measure of the world; yet, beside a mountain range it is as nothing. You yourself are the grain of sand; you are your own prisoner. Break your cage, break free from yourself, free from humanity; learn that what you thought was real is not so in reality. Follow Nizami: burn but your own treasure, like a candle -- then the world, your sovereign, will become your slave."
After the death of Layla's husband, she openly mourns her love for Majnun, and dies shortly thereafter. Majnun hears of her death and, mad with grief, repeatedly visits her tomb. He dies and is buried beside his beloved.
In a dream, Zayd, who tends their joint grave, has a vision of them in paradise, where an ancient soul tells him:
"These two friends are one, eternal companions. He is Majnun, the king of the world in right action. And she is Layla, the moon among idols in compassion. In the world, like unpierced rubies they treasured their fidelity affectionately, but found no rest and could not attain their heart's desire. Here they suffer grief no more. So it will be until eternity. Whoever endures suffering and forebears in that world will be joyous and exalted in this world."
On waking Zayd realized that:
"Whoever would find a place in that world must tread on the lusts of this world. This world is dust and is perishable. That world is pure and eternal. . . . Commit yourself to love's sanctuary and at once find freedom from your ego. Fly in love as an arrow towards its target. Love loosens the knots of being, love is liberation from the vortex of egotism. In love, every cup of sorrow which bites into the soul gives it new life. Many a draft bitter as poison has become in love delicious. . . . However agonizing the experience, if it is for love it is well."
So ends Nizami's poetic narrative of the story of Layla and Majnun, but to really appreciate and understand this work, it needs to be read, and savored, in full. Is their story a medieval soap opera of epic proportions? It is, if that's what your heart hears. Is it a cautionary tale inculcating acceptance of earthly injustice and suffering in the Islamic faithful, who will be rewarded in the great by-and-by? It will surely serve, if that's your concern. Is Majnun "Man" and Layla "Soul," suffering because denied union while bounded by flesh? Yes, if your concern, your love, leads you to hear it that way. Is it an allegorical Sufi text, instructing seekers in practical means for awakening to the supernal reality of their true, spiritual nature? Only our hearts know for sure -- Nizami bids us follow them.
(From Sunrise magazine, June/July 2000; copyright © 2000 Theosophical University Press)
from: http://www.theosophy-nw.org/theosnw/world/mideast/mi-jcok.htm
By J. T. Coker
Layla and Majnun have been characters for Sufi poets, as Krishna was for the poets of India. Majnun means absorption into a thought and Layla means the night of obscurity. The story is from beginning to end a teaching on the path of devotion, the experience of the soul in search of God. -- Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan
The story of Layla and Majnun is one of the most popular in the Islamic world, enduring in legends, tales, poems, songs, and epics from the Caucasus to Africa and from the Atlantic to the Indian Ocean. Scholars find good reasons to believe that the central character -- Qays, nicknamed Majnun (Madman) -- lived in northern Arabia in the second half of the seventh century, five hundred years before the poet Nizami. At the behest of the Transcaucasian chieftain Shervanshah, Nizami collected many of the widely dispersed traditional versions and wove them into his great narrative poem.
No one knows the number of translations of Nizami's work in the many languages encompassed by Islamic religious culture, but at least forty Persian and thirteen Turkish versions are known, and one scholar states that there are actually over a hundred versions in those two languages alone. An English translation appeared in 1836 which relied on an incomplete text with later additions by lesser poets (this text was used by Eric Clapton in the late 1970s for certain lyrics on his recording Layla and Other Love Songs). The translation by Dr. Rudolf Gelpke [The Story of Layla and Majnun by Nizami, trans. and ed. by Dr. Rudolf Gelpke, English version in collaboration with E. Mattin and G. Hill, Omega Publications, New Lebanon, NY, 1997; all page references are to this edition] published originally in 1966, offers insights into medieval Arabic culture and mores. Though cast in prose, poetry lovers will catch fulfilling glimpses of Nizami's poetic and mystic genius. Moreover, the Omega edition includes the work's final chapter, translated by Zia Inayat Khan and Omid Safi.
The story begins with the Sayyid, a man of wealth, power, and prestige, desiring a son and heir. He importunes Allah, who grants his request. The beauty of his son Qays "grew to perfection. As a ray of light penetrates the water, so the jewel of love shone through the veil of his body." At the age of ten, Qays goes to school and meets his kismet/fate, Layla. "Does not 'Layl' mean 'night' in Arabic? And dark as the night was the color of her hair." Love struck them both; others noticed, tongues wagged, and Qays first tastes bitterness. He refrains from seeing her, but his heart breaks and he begins to slip into melancholy. Layla's tribe, to protect her (and their) honor, deny her right to see him, and he falls into madness: "A madman he became -- but at the same time a poet, the harp of his love and of his pain."
In time Majnun runs away into the wilderness, becoming unkempt, not knowing good from evil. His father takes him on pilgrimage to Mecca, to seek God's help in freeing him, but Majnun strikes the Kaaba and cries "none of my days shall ever be free of this pain. Let me love, oh my God, love for love's sake, and make my love a hundred times as great as it was and is!" He continues to wander "like a drunken lion," chanting poems of Layla's beauty and his love. Many come to hear him. Some write down the poems he spontaneously speaks.
Meanwhile, Layla holds their love quietly so none will know she lived between the water of her tears and the fire of her love, . . .
Yet her lover's voice reached her. Was he not a poet? No tent curtain was woven so closely as to keep out his poems. Every child from the bazaar was singing his verses; every passer-by was humming one of his love-songs, bringing Layla a message from her beloved . . .
Refusing suitors, she writes answers to his poems and casts them to the wind.
It happened often that someone found one of these little papers, and guessed the hidden meaning, realizing for whom they were intended. Sometimes he would go to Majnun hoping to hear, as a reward, some of the poems which had become so popular. . . .
Thus many a melody passed to and fro between the two nightingales, drunk with their passion.
Eventually Layla is married to another, but refuses conjugality. Being in love, her husband accepts her condition of an outward marriage only. Majnun learns of the marriage and of her faithfulness. Neither his father nor his mother, when near death, can induce him to return to his people. Wild animals, loving rather than fearing him, congregate in his presence, protecting him. One night Majnun prays to Allah, thanking Him for making him the pure soul he now is and asking God's grace. He sleeps, and in his dream a miraculous tree springs from the desert, from which a bird drops a magic jewel onto his head, like a diadem.
An old man, Zayd, helps Layla and Majnun to exchange letters and finally to meet, though she cannot approach him closer than ten paces. Majnun spontaneously recites love poetry to her, and at dawn they go their separate ways.
Nizami asks:
"For how long then do you want to deceive yourself? For how long will you refuse to see yourself as you are and as you will be? Each grain of sand takes its own length and breadth as the measure of the world; yet, beside a mountain range it is as nothing. You yourself are the grain of sand; you are your own prisoner. Break your cage, break free from yourself, free from humanity; learn that what you thought was real is not so in reality. Follow Nizami: burn but your own treasure, like a candle -- then the world, your sovereign, will become your slave."
After the death of Layla's husband, she openly mourns her love for Majnun, and dies shortly thereafter. Majnun hears of her death and, mad with grief, repeatedly visits her tomb. He dies and is buried beside his beloved.
In a dream, Zayd, who tends their joint grave, has a vision of them in paradise, where an ancient soul tells him:
"These two friends are one, eternal companions. He is Majnun, the king of the world in right action. And she is Layla, the moon among idols in compassion. In the world, like unpierced rubies they treasured their fidelity affectionately, but found no rest and could not attain their heart's desire. Here they suffer grief no more. So it will be until eternity. Whoever endures suffering and forebears in that world will be joyous and exalted in this world."
On waking Zayd realized that:
"Whoever would find a place in that world must tread on the lusts of this world. This world is dust and is perishable. That world is pure and eternal. . . . Commit yourself to love's sanctuary and at once find freedom from your ego. Fly in love as an arrow towards its target. Love loosens the knots of being, love is liberation from the vortex of egotism. In love, every cup of sorrow which bites into the soul gives it new life. Many a draft bitter as poison has become in love delicious. . . . However agonizing the experience, if it is for love it is well."
So ends Nizami's poetic narrative of the story of Layla and Majnun, but to really appreciate and understand this work, it needs to be read, and savored, in full. Is their story a medieval soap opera of epic proportions? It is, if that's what your heart hears. Is it a cautionary tale inculcating acceptance of earthly injustice and suffering in the Islamic faithful, who will be rewarded in the great by-and-by? It will surely serve, if that's your concern. Is Majnun "Man" and Layla "Soul," suffering because denied union while bounded by flesh? Yes, if your concern, your love, leads you to hear it that way. Is it an allegorical Sufi text, instructing seekers in practical means for awakening to the supernal reality of their true, spiritual nature? Only our hearts know for sure -- Nizami bids us follow them.
(From Sunrise magazine, June/July 2000; copyright © 2000 Theosophical University Press)
from: http://www.theosophy-nw.org/theosnw/world/mideast/mi-jcok.htm
Saturday, November 24, 2007
in the words of mother theresa
I have found the paradox
That if I love until it hurts,
Then there is no hurt,
Only more love.
exercising my right to a fair treatment
all i would like to say is that, i have had enough of being used and made use of.
all these while, it has really been me giving others the benefit of the doubt, or coming up with reasonable excuses to explain their behaviour. and then giving myself reason to continue contributing.
i have had to be patient, considerate, empathetic and understanding.
but no one gives two hoots about how things are on my side, how i feel being on this end of the line.
that was my retaliation, if you did not know.
i was just exercising my right to being treated as fairly as i feel i should.
i am a person too.
i hate it when people diminish the value of my love for them, by taking me for granted.
and i hate it when my love for them diminishes, when i know they take me for granted.
all these while, it has really been me giving others the benefit of the doubt, or coming up with reasonable excuses to explain their behaviour. and then giving myself reason to continue contributing.
i have had to be patient, considerate, empathetic and understanding.
but no one gives two hoots about how things are on my side, how i feel being on this end of the line.
that was my retaliation, if you did not know.
i was just exercising my right to being treated as fairly as i feel i should.
i am a person too.
i hate it when people diminish the value of my love for them, by taking me for granted.
and i hate it when my love for them diminishes, when i know they take me for granted.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
for the record
we know what has happened and what is happening.
and frankly i pity both.
for sure i can ask that she be alleviated from her suffering. and i have.
and i can also ask that the cruel be given a fitting retribute.
but it appears that the cruel is far weaker than the one being oppressed.
and this is not clear to the one oppressing.
so rather than ask for a similar recompense, i ask that she be given strength to stand up for herself.
and i also ask that he be given the strength to accept his own weaknesses and to stand up for himself, without depending on her.
i recalled the friday sermon today, and i remembered a hadith mentioned. and i felt that it was very fitting for the above situation.
It is narrated on the authority of Abu Musa Ash'ari: I asked the Messenger of Allah (peace be unto him) which (attribute) of Islam is more excellent. Upon this he (pbuh) remarked: One in which the Muslims are safe, protected from the tongue and hand of (other Muslims).
I just pray that this situation improves, and that both become free from their respective shackles that bind them to a doomed course.
and frankly i pity both.
for sure i can ask that she be alleviated from her suffering. and i have.
and i can also ask that the cruel be given a fitting retribute.
but it appears that the cruel is far weaker than the one being oppressed.
and this is not clear to the one oppressing.
so rather than ask for a similar recompense, i ask that she be given strength to stand up for herself.
and i also ask that he be given the strength to accept his own weaknesses and to stand up for himself, without depending on her.
i recalled the friday sermon today, and i remembered a hadith mentioned. and i felt that it was very fitting for the above situation.
It is narrated on the authority of Abu Musa Ash'ari: I asked the Messenger of Allah (peace be unto him) which (attribute) of Islam is more excellent. Upon this he (pbuh) remarked: One in which the Muslims are safe, protected from the tongue and hand of (other Muslims).
I just pray that this situation improves, and that both become free from their respective shackles that bind them to a doomed course.
as logical as it is.
its not quite a good feeling being who i am.
and knowing the things i do.
because i am able to justify things for everyone else.
there is always a logical reason, always a pseudo-excuse to cover up and explain the actions of others.
"of course people won't pay much attention to you. they have so many other things to think about, to plan for. their lives move ahead even when yours remain stagnated you know. you don't have to think about these things because you are still uncommitted, unbirdled and unfettered by the demands that press others into motion, things that need handling in this current time. yes nizar you are not the center of the universe, things do not orbit around you. people have priorities, and you have got to realise, you are not one of them. so can you blame them?"
yes i can.
because i don't think it takes much to make me feel needed or remembered.
selfish? i know.
but i couldn't care less.
just because there is a justification, does not mean that i will listen to reason.
and knowing the things i do.
because i am able to justify things for everyone else.
there is always a logical reason, always a pseudo-excuse to cover up and explain the actions of others.
"of course people won't pay much attention to you. they have so many other things to think about, to plan for. their lives move ahead even when yours remain stagnated you know. you don't have to think about these things because you are still uncommitted, unbirdled and unfettered by the demands that press others into motion, things that need handling in this current time. yes nizar you are not the center of the universe, things do not orbit around you. people have priorities, and you have got to realise, you are not one of them. so can you blame them?"
yes i can.
because i don't think it takes much to make me feel needed or remembered.
selfish? i know.
but i couldn't care less.
just because there is a justification, does not mean that i will listen to reason.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
to err is human, to forgive divine
so the saying goes.
that as humans, to make mistakes is but an entitlement we have.
for we are given wills, desires, ability to choose and take action, emotions... all of which influence the outcomes of our lives, and the circumstances we find ourselves in.
and to forgive is not even our place, because only the Creator has that right to forgive His creation.
we should not even contemplate holding a grudge, not even contemplate being angry, not even contemplate having to forgive someone, because we are not infallible ourselves. at another time, at another place, it might be us committing the very same deed which others commit towards us.
forgiveness should come as naturally as breathing.
forgiveness should flow like the day flows into night.
when a deed is committed, anger is but fleeting, and the thought to forgive should immediately be a consequent, and forgiveness and letting go from that point on.
it is hard to do.
really hard to do.
for a mere human like me.
that as humans, to make mistakes is but an entitlement we have.
for we are given wills, desires, ability to choose and take action, emotions... all of which influence the outcomes of our lives, and the circumstances we find ourselves in.
and to forgive is not even our place, because only the Creator has that right to forgive His creation.
we should not even contemplate holding a grudge, not even contemplate being angry, not even contemplate having to forgive someone, because we are not infallible ourselves. at another time, at another place, it might be us committing the very same deed which others commit towards us.
forgiveness should come as naturally as breathing.
forgiveness should flow like the day flows into night.
when a deed is committed, anger is but fleeting, and the thought to forgive should immediately be a consequent, and forgiveness and letting go from that point on.
it is hard to do.
really hard to do.
for a mere human like me.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
on gratitude
Jalaluddin Rumi, discourse 48:
Gratitude is a hunting and a shackling of benefits. When you hear the voice of gratitude, you get ready to give more. When God loves a servant He afflicts him; if he endures with fortitude, he chooses him; if he is grateful, He elects him. Some men are grateful to God for His wrathfulness and some are grateful to Him for His graciousness. Each of the two classes is good; for gratitude is a sovereign antidote, changing wrath into grace. The intelligent and perfect man is he who is grateful for harsh treatment, both openly and in secret; for it is he whom God has elected. If God's will be the bottom reach of Hell, by gratitude His purpose is hastened.
For outward complaining is a diminution of inward complaining. Muhammad said, peace be upon him, 'I laugh as I slay.' That means, 'My laughing in the face of him who is harsh to me is a slaying of him.' The intention of laughter is gratitude in the place of complaining.
It is related that a certain Jew lived next door to one of the Companions of God's Messenger. This Jew lived in an upper room, whence descended into the Muslim's apartment all kinds of dirt and filth, the piddle of his children, the water his clothes were washed in. Yet the Muslim always thanked the Jew, and bade his family do the same. So things continued for eight years, until the Muslim died. Then the Jew entered his apartment, to condole with the family, and saw all the filth there, and how it issued from his upper room. So he realised what had happened during the past years, and was exceedingly sorry, and said to the Muslim's household, 'Why on earth didn't you tell me? Why did you always thank me? they replied, 'Our father used to bid us be grateful, and chided us against ceasing to be grateful.' So the Jew became a believer.
The mentioning of virtuous men
Encourages to virtue then,
Just as the minstrel with his song.
Urges the wine to pass along.
For this reason God has mentioned in the Koran His prophets and those of His servants who were righteous, and thanked them for what they did unto Him who is All-powerful and All-forgiving.
Gratitude for sucking the breast is a blessing. Though the breast be full, until you suck it the milk does not flow.
Someone asked: What is the cause of ingratitude, and what is that prevents gratitude?
The Master answered: The preventer of gratitude is inordinate greed. For whatever a man may get, he was greedy for more than that. It was inordinate greed that impelled him to that, so that when he got less than what he had set his heart upon his greed prevented him from being grateful. So he was heedless of his own defect, and heedless also of the defect and adulteration of the coin he proffered.
Raw and inordinate greed is like eating raw fruit and raw bread and raw meat; inevitably it generates sickness and begets ingratitude. When a man realises that he has eaten something unwholesome, a purge becomes necessary. God most High in His wisdom makes him suffer through ingratitude so that he may be purged and rid of that corrupt conceit, lest that one sickness become a hundred sicknesses.
"And we tried them with good things and evil,
that haply they should return."
That is to say: We made provision for them from whence they had never reckoned, namely the unseen world, so that their gaze shrinks form beholding the secondary causes, which are as it were partners to God. It was in this sense that Abú Yazid said, 'Lord, I have never associated any with Thee.' God most High said, 'O Abú Yazid, not even on the night of the milk? You said one night, "The milk has done me harm." It is I who do harm, and benefit.' Abú Yazid has looked at the secondary cause, so that God reckoned him a polytheist and said, 'It is I do harm, after the milk and before the milk; but I made the milk for a sin, and the harm for a correction such as a teacher administers.'
When the teacher says, 'Don't eat the fruit,' and the pupils eats it, and the teacher beats him on the sole of his foot, it is not right for the pupil to say, 'I ate the fruit and it hurt my foot.' On this basis, whoso preserves his tongue from ascribing partners to God, God undertakes to cleanse his spirit of the weeds of polytheism. A little with God is much.
The difference between giving praise and giving thanks is that thanks are given for benefits received. One does not say, 'I gave thanks to him for his beauty and his bravery.' Praisegiving is more general.
Gratitude is a hunting and a shackling of benefits. When you hear the voice of gratitude, you get ready to give more. When God loves a servant He afflicts him; if he endures with fortitude, he chooses him; if he is grateful, He elects him. Some men are grateful to God for His wrathfulness and some are grateful to Him for His graciousness. Each of the two classes is good; for gratitude is a sovereign antidote, changing wrath into grace. The intelligent and perfect man is he who is grateful for harsh treatment, both openly and in secret; for it is he whom God has elected. If God's will be the bottom reach of Hell, by gratitude His purpose is hastened.
For outward complaining is a diminution of inward complaining. Muhammad said, peace be upon him, 'I laugh as I slay.' That means, 'My laughing in the face of him who is harsh to me is a slaying of him.' The intention of laughter is gratitude in the place of complaining.
It is related that a certain Jew lived next door to one of the Companions of God's Messenger. This Jew lived in an upper room, whence descended into the Muslim's apartment all kinds of dirt and filth, the piddle of his children, the water his clothes were washed in. Yet the Muslim always thanked the Jew, and bade his family do the same. So things continued for eight years, until the Muslim died. Then the Jew entered his apartment, to condole with the family, and saw all the filth there, and how it issued from his upper room. So he realised what had happened during the past years, and was exceedingly sorry, and said to the Muslim's household, 'Why on earth didn't you tell me? Why did you always thank me? they replied, 'Our father used to bid us be grateful, and chided us against ceasing to be grateful.' So the Jew became a believer.
The mentioning of virtuous men
Encourages to virtue then,
Just as the minstrel with his song.
Urges the wine to pass along.
For this reason God has mentioned in the Koran His prophets and those of His servants who were righteous, and thanked them for what they did unto Him who is All-powerful and All-forgiving.
Gratitude for sucking the breast is a blessing. Though the breast be full, until you suck it the milk does not flow.
Someone asked: What is the cause of ingratitude, and what is that prevents gratitude?
The Master answered: The preventer of gratitude is inordinate greed. For whatever a man may get, he was greedy for more than that. It was inordinate greed that impelled him to that, so that when he got less than what he had set his heart upon his greed prevented him from being grateful. So he was heedless of his own defect, and heedless also of the defect and adulteration of the coin he proffered.
Raw and inordinate greed is like eating raw fruit and raw bread and raw meat; inevitably it generates sickness and begets ingratitude. When a man realises that he has eaten something unwholesome, a purge becomes necessary. God most High in His wisdom makes him suffer through ingratitude so that he may be purged and rid of that corrupt conceit, lest that one sickness become a hundred sicknesses.
"And we tried them with good things and evil,
that haply they should return."
That is to say: We made provision for them from whence they had never reckoned, namely the unseen world, so that their gaze shrinks form beholding the secondary causes, which are as it were partners to God. It was in this sense that Abú Yazid said, 'Lord, I have never associated any with Thee.' God most High said, 'O Abú Yazid, not even on the night of the milk? You said one night, "The milk has done me harm." It is I who do harm, and benefit.' Abú Yazid has looked at the secondary cause, so that God reckoned him a polytheist and said, 'It is I do harm, after the milk and before the milk; but I made the milk for a sin, and the harm for a correction such as a teacher administers.'
When the teacher says, 'Don't eat the fruit,' and the pupils eats it, and the teacher beats him on the sole of his foot, it is not right for the pupil to say, 'I ate the fruit and it hurt my foot.' On this basis, whoso preserves his tongue from ascribing partners to God, God undertakes to cleanse his spirit of the weeds of polytheism. A little with God is much.
The difference between giving praise and giving thanks is that thanks are given for benefits received. One does not say, 'I gave thanks to him for his beauty and his bravery.' Praisegiving is more general.
in response to your sms: a prayer
O God!
I ask you,
By Your knowledge of the Unseen,
And Your control over the creation:
Give me life as long as You know that life is best for me,
And take me when death is best for me.
O God!
I also ask of You fear of You, in secret and in open;
I ask of You the word of Truth and justice in anger and in pleasure;
I ask of You moderation in poverty and affluence;
I ask of You joy which does not fade;
I ask of You pleasure which does not pass away, nor that which ceases;
I ask of You contentment with Your decree;
I ask of You coolness of life after death;
I ask of You the delight of looking towards Your Face;
And I ask of You eagerness towards meeting You, not in harmful adversity, nor in misleading afflictions.
O God!
Adorn us with the decoration of faith, and make us those who guide and are guided.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
of friendship
"Never underestimate the power and beauty of love in friendship, for in friendship can be found many things. The first is an unconditional acceptance - flaws and perfections live side by side and may be judged equally and equally disregarded. There may also be found an understanding - understanding that allows us to be who we are and who we will be - and who we need to be at that moment on our chosen pathway. There is a freedom within the love of friendship that allows us to simply 'be'. Friendship discovered to be true and therefore loving is precious, gentle and kind. There is give and take on both sides and friendship must be a partnership. Sometimes a true friend will step back, yet they will always be there. If we have an equal partnership we will accept this, knowing that our friend is still there, ready if we need them as we are for them. So it is with spirit. We are here, accepting unconditionally, supporting when support is needed, stepping back as needed to allow freedom of development of spirit and therefore spiritual progression. Our friendship, as with any other friendship, is unconditional, unwavering and timeless.
In a friendship there can be found a love that blossoms, helps us grow, nourishes and nurtures us so that we feel valued and loved, cared for and needed - we know that if we are needed we are loved - for it is as important to be needed as it is to have a friend when we need them. Again, it must be an equal partnership.
Often when love is lost it is because the friendship was lacking - for all based on love must first be based on friendship. Friendship lays the foundations for a strong and lasting relationship. In the roots of friendship can be found trust, strength, companionship and tolerance. These too are the foundations of a true and lasting relationship between two people.
For true and pure friendship we can do no better than to follow the example of a child. A child's friendship knows no boundaries and does not measure worth as wealth, colour, creed or belief. It knows only laughter, fun, happiness and freedom. In true friendship can be found hope, faith and expression.
All in love is friendship and all in friendship is love."
In a friendship there can be found a love that blossoms, helps us grow, nourishes and nurtures us so that we feel valued and loved, cared for and needed - we know that if we are needed we are loved - for it is as important to be needed as it is to have a friend when we need them. Again, it must be an equal partnership.
Often when love is lost it is because the friendship was lacking - for all based on love must first be based on friendship. Friendship lays the foundations for a strong and lasting relationship. In the roots of friendship can be found trust, strength, companionship and tolerance. These too are the foundations of a true and lasting relationship between two people.
For true and pure friendship we can do no better than to follow the example of a child. A child's friendship knows no boundaries and does not measure worth as wealth, colour, creed or belief. It knows only laughter, fun, happiness and freedom. In true friendship can be found hope, faith and expression.
All in love is friendship and all in friendship is love."
Quoted from Spirit-Path
it takes two hands to clap, doesn't it? but i feel no motivation for reasons i will not say.
maybe we have reached that stage where it doesn't matter that we don't talk anymore. because some things are just taken for granted right?
but from where i am, its just the beginning of the end.
but then again, its not that you see it the way i do, or bother to see it the way i do.
Monday, November 05, 2007
PDAs
i pride myself in loving my friends.
and i pride myself in not being ashamed of showing people how i feel.
and especially when it comes to those whom i love, hugs are just commonplace.
for those who are especially especially loved, i humble myself before them even more, even if they are younger than me.
but i think some people tak suka.
kadang-kadang kasi muka. tapi actually tak suka.
but what i do is simply an expression of my deep attachment to you.
but again, if you do not like it, tell me, as some have. and i will try to stop.
try.
although i hope you won't.
because to some extent, it would be to me a refutation of the love i feel.
and there is hurt.
and i pride myself in not being ashamed of showing people how i feel.
and especially when it comes to those whom i love, hugs are just commonplace.
for those who are especially especially loved, i humble myself before them even more, even if they are younger than me.
but i think some people tak suka.
kadang-kadang kasi muka. tapi actually tak suka.
but what i do is simply an expression of my deep attachment to you.
but again, if you do not like it, tell me, as some have. and i will try to stop.
try.
although i hope you won't.
because to some extent, it would be to me a refutation of the love i feel.
and there is hurt.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
to the blazes with my diet
thursday: carousel
friday: fish and co.
saturday: 8 houses for raya - each with food.
sunday: open house, and 3 houses for raya - each with food.
tak makan, orang kata sombong, tak sudi.
makan lah makan.
friday: fish and co.
saturday: 8 houses for raya - each with food.
sunday: open house, and 3 houses for raya - each with food.
tak makan, orang kata sombong, tak sudi.
makan lah makan.
of age and naivete
not that i am harping on the issue, for those who know. just that i did want to write about it but just never got around to writing.
and so we went out that day.
and i was already jittery about the fiscal issues.
she came, met the one she intended to, and said she wanted to leave.
but she did not.
instead, she went to "survey" the place.
and came back with a plate of food.
and i was like *gasp*
i did not know if she was aware of what she was doing.
or that she was just being amazingly uncultured.
and she repeated the above twice.
i mean, we already extended an invitation to sit down and eat with us.
you said no.
but you still went to take the food.
this was not an open house you know.
this was a place of fine dining, where people were expected to conduct themselves with a certain level of etiquette. and there you were, your chirpy little self, acting oblivious to the demands of the place.
at least her companion had enough etiquette to refrain.
which is why the question begs itself: does the exuberance of youth exempt one from behaving in a civil manner?
in order not to feel any anger, i just attributed the whole incident to her being a naive little girl.
but i am still annoyed.
it's ok, she is still young... sheesh.
and so we went out that day.
and i was already jittery about the fiscal issues.
she came, met the one she intended to, and said she wanted to leave.
but she did not.
instead, she went to "survey" the place.
and came back with a plate of food.
and i was like *gasp*
i did not know if she was aware of what she was doing.
or that she was just being amazingly uncultured.
and she repeated the above twice.
i mean, we already extended an invitation to sit down and eat with us.
you said no.
but you still went to take the food.
this was not an open house you know.
this was a place of fine dining, where people were expected to conduct themselves with a certain level of etiquette. and there you were, your chirpy little self, acting oblivious to the demands of the place.
at least her companion had enough etiquette to refrain.
which is why the question begs itself: does the exuberance of youth exempt one from behaving in a civil manner?
in order not to feel any anger, i just attributed the whole incident to her being a naive little girl.
but i am still annoyed.
it's ok, she is still young... sheesh.
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