final evaluation and the singaporean in me

completed my final evaluation before the stipulated date because the school needed my results in. so it was done. perhaps by any other person's standard, i would have been considered to have done well, but by my own expectations, i think i have disappointed myself.

how shall i say this without sounding like a brat?

no other way to say it i suppose...

i think i deserved more marks. and although the marks were not the point of the evaluation, being singaporean, it still affected me quite a bit.

both my supervisor and i agreed that 4 weeks was too short a duration for me to be able to have performed at the best of my ability. I was only beginning to understand how things worked, and to finally get into the rhythm of the whole shenanigan... and then i had to leave. of course, my standard of performance would have been less adept as compared to a student who would have spent 6 weeks, and evaluated at the end of the 6th week. it was more a matter of experience, and ample opportunities, rather than ability.

so, i thought that given we had this mutual understanding, the grades should reflect the moderated score i.e. how i would have performed if given 2 more weeks. unfortunately, my sup felt that it was not necessary, and in her opinion, the score should reflect how i have performed so far. and that was not exactly what i had hoped.

of course, this was because i really wanted to get the clinical prize. and i am afraid that my chances may have been dashed because of this.

but there you go. its really the singaporean nature, that wants to achieve rather than considering the pluses of the experience. and how everything conveniently boiled down to grades and scores.

sigh.

p.s. i still hope that the moderation would occur. i will fight for it back in singapore. haha. sheesh.

hikmah's visit

my junior from melbourne came down to visit me and some of her friends in sydney.

the sweet child took a 9hr train ride overnight... can you believe it? such dedication to friends i say... anyways, met her and went to the zoo with her... and my camera decided to die on me... so i don't have many pictures of us at the zoo... but then when we sent her off, we took more pictures... hahaha... well yea, just for the sake of putting pictures on the blog, here is a short pictorial on hikmah's visit.

hikmah tak sempat pakai sunglass, dah kena flash.

bad judgment of position.

it's her 2nd time to the opera house in her 5 years in aussie. i think.

the ever important shot of the SOH.

the ferry we took was called "friendship". how apt!

the first animal we saw... i think its a heron, or an egret, or a something like that.

then came the koala, or rather, then slept the koala.

she was kinda excited to see them.

the unmoving log that was a crocodile.

the giant komodo dragon.

a land iguana... pandai posing.

this frilled lizard was huge. really really huge. like the size of my arm.

inter-species love?

she said that she definitely has to see the giraffes. so we went to see the giraffes. i think she identifies with them...

cute giraffe pic.

it was cold, and the chimps know that the water would be too cold to bathe in.

silhouette.

And at this point, my camera decided to give up. so the next few shots are already about sending hikmah home.

central train station.

hikmah's train on platform 1.

her friends from RJ.

bye bye!

second to third

for everyone who is wondering why i have been missing, it is because last weekend, i cooped myself up in the room to do some work... the first two weeks as reported were much more relaxed, but it appears that the work load is increasing, as my supervisor hands me a majority (actually, all) of her patients, and i really havent had the time to do much else.

well. actually i do. but the weekends are really cherished nowadays as extra time for me to catch up on the things that i wanted to read, and the work that i promised myself to finish.

so i kept myself off the streets and gallivanting around, so that i could do what i needed to.

then i realised that i need to go gallivanting this week, because its my last weekend in sydney.
and then i realised how very fast the weeks have passed.
and how much more i need to make these next weeks matter.

i had my mid-way eval last friday, and i am generally doing ok... just some weaknesses which i have personally identified, and agreed that it is not actually a weakness, but more of a culture or style that is not mine. so i cannot be marked down on that. so not much worries there.

but really, the days are just flying past in the hospital.

i am seeing patients back to back while needing to prepare for my own presentation, and the projects. and needing to attend tutorials, and wanting to attend grand rounds at the hospitals. and arranging to speak to other professionals, and being attached to them for some time to observe. its really a juggle... and i got to show that despite the juggling act, i am coping and that i am keeping abreast of what i need to do. haha. not easy. and my sup is watching my every move, i know.

i find myself in awe sometimes of the breadth and depth of knowledge that the senior OTs have. i am choking on answers still when i am asked a physiological question, and that really bums me out. but at the same time, i am seeing different sort of management which is not traditionally seen in singapore, and that is really pushing up my learning curve steeply. i find that there is a lot more that i need to learn, and my 4 weeks here is truly insufficient to fully grasp what is happening over in St Vincent's. now i know why i needed 6 weeks.

sigh.

but it all happens for a reason.
i have come to terms with me being here only 4 weeks.
and i need to plan around the time that i am here...

so i hope that these next 1.5 weeks will be a blast and that it will be filled with many many tales which i can tell when i come back!

pray for me and wish me luck!