why?

its yet another day spent at home bumming.

i feel sick. sick of myself and my ability to procrastinate if i am the one in control. sick of my incessant belittling of tasks that should be completed with the time i am given, only to later find that i have no time to complete it.

i am like that. and i hate it.

it is a great flaw, and i do nothing to correct it.

and weirdly i survive. by the theory of evolution, by rights i should have fizzled out a long time ago. but i am still here.

barely getting by, but still here.

what's wrong with me? i accuse others of apathy, but i am myself guilty of it. remind me to talk about my passing of judgement on others. and my quest to change courses.

because now, i really should not be doing this.

REALLY.