its only words...

and yet sometimes they inflict the most pain.

i met up with the secondary school guys that day, as one of them wanted to go for supper.
so all was fine, until i met one of them whom i respected and used to show it. but that day, seeing the crowd, i did not do what i usually did. and to my surprise, he actually asked why i did not do it. and i got blardy turned off by that remark.

my response in my heart was:
i give of my own free will. don't demand it because you think you deserve it. and don't insult me like that because it just makes me not want to do it anymore.

and of course, he had no clue why i was unresponsive to him all that night.

and then when we were boarding the van, as i was preparing to enter the back compartment in which there were two of them inside, one of them said that i was being an extra coming into the back. i had enough of buggers not thinking before they let their filthy mouths loose. i should have just slammed the door shut and walked myself home. of course later he messaged to say he did not mean it, but the damage is done isn't it?

twice in a night. by two different people.
and another before that.
are we becoming a group that has no respect for another person's feelings?

but hell, i am not in any way exempt from this.
i apparently offended one of those i love like this.
i am sorry.

its only words... but these words can sting. and sometimes they cut real deep.
and while sometimes sorry is the only thing you can say, it just isn't enough is it?