like it or not

again this topic comes up.

yesterday i was quite hurt when someone made a negative response to my overt expression of affection. and it wasn't as if i was excessively showering my love. i just made two statements comprising two words each.

when we were there, i understand if i stepped over your comfortable limits. and i apologised already. but its apparent that you still carry it today. at least that is how i see it. and i am even more saddened because it was really just innocent bantering. and i don't know if what you did was all an act then. 'cos it feels hypocritical to me. when you need me, you cajole me, and coddle me.

else i am just trash.

here i am, having to deal with my feelings, because you cannot retract what you said.
i feel diminished. but at the same time, i refuse to deny caring for you.

i long for the day when i will be emotionally independent, not having to rely on you or anyone else for that matter, to have that sense of self-worth and feel valued. but i will not do so without being able to love freely and truly.

so whether you like me or not for that, if you will not spare a thought for how i feel, at least respect the love that i have.