Changing people

I was left reflecting on many things when the end of the year came around. One of these was the issue of people changing around you.

A friend of mine commented that she finds herself grappling when she tries to communicate with her friends. It is almost like there are two different worlds trying to assimilate into the conversation. My friend added that she feels like everyone else has matured, while she still remained the childish self that she was before.

I empathise with what she says. Again this situation rings true with me too. I too find myself struggling sometimes to speak the same language as my other peers. What seemed so easy to do before, now seems very, very alien. While I used to take pride in being a rather good communicator, I find that all that has changed.

Is it me, or is it the people around me?

We all live by our own principles, and our environments mould us to be the kind of people we are. The quake was a test of humanity in us, but I was appalled and greatly disappointed when the one person I thought would be the epitome of that humanity, declined to help out at an event. Yes of course, to each his own, and who am I to judge the hearts of others…but I was just hoping for more.

Hoping. Hoping means having Expectations. Having Expectations means having Standards to achieve. Having Standards that are high mean that some people cannot achieve these Standards, hence not fulfilling the Expectations and destroying Hope. Bringing about Sadness and possible falling out.

This issue of expecting certain things and behaviour from certain people, is what causes a great deal of conflict, among many of my friends and myself. I am trying my best to not expect, although you may say that it is only natural. But I wish to elevate whatever is it I have with other people, to a stage whereby it no longer matters what he or she does, as long as the conscience is clear. And that by just being, you derive satisfaction, which is more than enough.

Yet, I don’t know whether I will ever be able to.

I am trying. Really.