gain some, lose some

grey's gave a very typical but most moving depiction of the above adage.


this week's episode showed how everything moves in its own cycle, but the harmony is somehow maintained between all parties. meredith finally really broke off with derek, but in exchange, gained back george and got a hottie vet boyfriend. izzie gave up trying to cheer her patient, but in return got her man back. alex gave up waiting for other people, and saved a life in return. john cho gave an apology and expected to get beaten up, but he received forgiveness instead. the mother died, but the father received a child.


just makes you wonder and rethink your life again. how many times have we simply chosen to not look at what we have gained in return, and focus on all the losses in life? i think as humans, we are simply that. self-centred, and motivated primarily by self gain. and that is why, when things do not go our way, we go all out to show the supposed injustices that have happened to us, and we whine and wail about all that we do not agree with, or does not conform to our perception of having a good life. we simply disregard the many times that good things have happened to us, that we have been blessed with, just cos this one moment of displeasure or discomfort afflicts us.


i am not exempt. i think i am especially like this when it comes to relationships. i fatalise and catastrophise every single event that does not happen the way i want it to happen. every argument that takes place, is unfortunately, another statement of the end. and that is why i never seem to be really happy. and then what is worse, is that i top everything off with an "i am ok, i will get through this, i don't need you" comment... which works for the immediate duration after, but really kills me after i am through with my own invincibility fable.


point is, i need to be more happy about the things that i have going my way, rather than look at the dark side of life whenever i get down. and maybe then i will be able to find strength, true strength, from myself. and maybe then i will be able to define myself for who i really am. and then i would have gained more than i lost.