its past midnight now. and i cannot sleep. haha. although there are many things that i can do to better use up the time, especially in this month, let me just pen some things that randomly cross my mind.
first of all, i love this new skin. gothic, mysterious, simple, and yet i can play with so many things for the html. haha. thats why i left the credit to the person who created this skin, cos really, he deserves it.
second thing that crossed my mind was about friends. was just watching this show "miami ink". showed five guys who were bestest of friends and who came together for the love of their trade: tattooing. and i think it was a repeat telecast... cos it was the episode when they all came together to open the shop, and all the teething problems came up. anyways, watching that show left me wondering if i did make any plans with anyones to have anything like that, anytime in the future. and whether that future that we had planned, in the eventuality, would turn out, or merely become a figment of the past. i think my perception of friends is skewed, in my own ways. i guess when it comes to companionship, i am a romantic. and i have to say that i think my perceptions of what friends should be like is really very influenced by "Friends", which coincidentally showed immediately after miami ink.
anyways, unfortunately for me, friends change. things change. everything changes. and my ring represents this. i know i am not very good with change. and i bought that ring to remind me of that. and that when at all everything moves along, i must learn to seek some respite in myself. and maybe sometimes, i am all i have. this is not to say that i am swearing off friends, of course i will never do that. but we all have our alone time. and we all need our alone time. and in some instances, we are truly alone. at least that is how i feel. no no i am not getting into another one of my depressive periods. introspection is not equal to depression, although it may lead to it. haha. but again, no, i am not depressed.
its really funny how i am coping at this instant, with all the changes and lack of contact that i have been experiencing. i have always hoped for the moment i can truly be detached from myself and all whom i have tied myself to, without feeling guilty that i am throwing away bonds which i have so painstakingly built. maybe i am moving on without me noticing. maybe i am just too distracted. maybe i choose to not care. maybe this. maybe that. ahaha. i am fast becoming incoherent.
i think everyone is moving away. so move as you must move. maybe you will find me here when you return, maybe you wont. let us leave all things now up to chance shall we? if fate decrees so, who are we to then say no?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment