on the first day of ramadhan

sometimes things just creep up on you and give you a surprise...
it was like that for me, let me tell you, for this ramadhan.


i was of the perception that ramadhan was going to begin on sunday night instead of saturday night... and i was rather unprepared to welcome it. that was why i questioned juni when her nick appeared to be miscalculating the number of days to ramadhan, and when my auntie asked if i was going for tarawih, i told her that it begins the day after...


then i read the papers, and it said, "fasting begins tomorrow"... then i visited MUIS' website... and the date read 1st ramadhan... and i was like...o'oh... was i so badly caught up in work that i could have absolutely misplaced ramadhan in my key priorities? i am of the mind that i did.


but it was all well... did what i needed to do. after maghrib i prepared myself to go to the mosque for the first tarawih prayers. always felt that it was more obligatory to go on the first day, to welcome the blessed month in congregation... and to try to go for more of the congregational prayers unlike how i have been the past ramadhans...


i think i was given a small gift at the mosque. to be able to observe beauty. i will leave it there.


but other reflections came in fast and furious. the imam misread some ayahs from simple surahs. i am not blaming him for it (even though he is an ustaz). the mistakes made by someone of his stature merely shows me that again, no one is infallible. even the best of us make mistakes. and this month is given as a respite to us, to make good all the wrong we have done in the past year, to cleanse ourselves from indulgences, and all in all, to make us humble in our ibadah. we need to seek rahmah(mercy), maghfirah(forgiveness) and freedom for the torments of the fire. there was a short sermon given after the tarawih session. that moved me quite a few times. realising my own shortcomings and limitations, the sermon extolled making ramadhan the stepping stone to a life better disciplined as a muslim. i know that i have not been such a good muslim the past year. and what was said, echoed my own sentiments and regrets.


somehow that sermon delivered on the first night drove home to me the point that there is a need to strive and make amends. make the fasting something more significant to you tha n merely attaining hunger and thirst and feeling week. strive to Him, and by His Grace, you might just achieve it.


insya Allah, i will do my best.


to those who still visit this asylum, blessed ramadhan to all.