real life application to this: saving vs spending.
utterly crappy when you have all the wants in the world, and then you realise that if you fulfill your wants, then there will be nothing left to keep. amazingly frustrating, when you realise how very precious those bucks are, and how very close you must keep them, else you won't have them anymore.
simple as that.
you can't have the money if you want to use the money.
such a blithering paradox.
urgh.
the woes of a working man.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
know why you love, because to know is to love.
one cannot love blindly.
or rather one should not love blindly.
in the past, i used to think that love is altogether a non-tangible thing - that it can happen inconsequentially, or irreverently. that love at first sight was a possibility. that one can love without reason or rhyme.
and then recently, certain things happened, which brought me back to what the real world is.
there is no love without a desire that needs to be fulfilled.
unfortunately for the hopeless romantics out there, love begs a reason. love proclaims a want. and with love, comes expectations and hopes.
and that was the reason why i could become angry, why i did become angry at some people. because i had thought that my love was simple, that it did not come with any baggage. but it did. and with those expectations, came the possibility of being disappointed, which i so severely was.
but despite that, control came when i realised why i loved. knowledge of this is power, and it rationalises love to a point that it is distilled - cleared of the banality that is the human ego and psyche. and reflecting upon why i loved set me aside of myself. and i surprised myself by forgoing the disappointment. and to this point i still dunno how i did it.
this entry may not make sense to many or any of you. but its ok.
always been understated.
love you.
despite what you did.
or rather one should not love blindly.
in the past, i used to think that love is altogether a non-tangible thing - that it can happen inconsequentially, or irreverently. that love at first sight was a possibility. that one can love without reason or rhyme.
and then recently, certain things happened, which brought me back to what the real world is.
there is no love without a desire that needs to be fulfilled.
unfortunately for the hopeless romantics out there, love begs a reason. love proclaims a want. and with love, comes expectations and hopes.
and that was the reason why i could become angry, why i did become angry at some people. because i had thought that my love was simple, that it did not come with any baggage. but it did. and with those expectations, came the possibility of being disappointed, which i so severely was.
but despite that, control came when i realised why i loved. knowledge of this is power, and it rationalises love to a point that it is distilled - cleared of the banality that is the human ego and psyche. and reflecting upon why i loved set me aside of myself. and i surprised myself by forgoing the disappointment. and to this point i still dunno how i did it.
this entry may not make sense to many or any of you. but its ok.
always been understated.
love you.
despite what you did.
work
am currently employed at the Handicaps Welfare Association as an occupational therapist under the Personal Care Services (PCS) programme. am in charge of home therapy services, where i conduct therapy (duh) in the home environment (double duh).
but work has been relaxed and altogether quite pleasant. only seeing 2 patients a day currently, and not even confined to the office environment. and it helps that i am able to arrange my own time to suit the needs of the clients, and even my own administrative duties. my supervisor and director are very trusting of my ability, and i am left to work independently since the 2nd week of work. yups, its that great... little pressure breathing down my neck.
its all good la... even so, i have quite a steep learning curve to traverse... need to pick up on administrative matters, financial accounting, manpower and resource management, marketing and public relations... so i am not only developing clinically, i am also forced to develop other skills, which will help me later if i am taking up a higher administrative position.
i truly feel quite lucky that this opportunity has availed itself to me, and that so many things are in store for me. the job allows me for so many avenues of growth, that i am spoilt for choice. haha... but like what HB says, focus. and focus I will. on clinical skills first, and then slowly on administration and planning. then i will begin to shine like those before me.
hahaha.
i hope!
but work has been relaxed and altogether quite pleasant. only seeing 2 patients a day currently, and not even confined to the office environment. and it helps that i am able to arrange my own time to suit the needs of the clients, and even my own administrative duties. my supervisor and director are very trusting of my ability, and i am left to work independently since the 2nd week of work. yups, its that great... little pressure breathing down my neck.
its all good la... even so, i have quite a steep learning curve to traverse... need to pick up on administrative matters, financial accounting, manpower and resource management, marketing and public relations... so i am not only developing clinically, i am also forced to develop other skills, which will help me later if i am taking up a higher administrative position.
i truly feel quite lucky that this opportunity has availed itself to me, and that so many things are in store for me. the job allows me for so many avenues of growth, that i am spoilt for choice. haha... but like what HB says, focus. and focus I will. on clinical skills first, and then slowly on administration and planning. then i will begin to shine like those before me.
hahaha.
i hope!
inspirational moments
backdated to 5th July 2007
HB took us out for lunch after the graduation ceremony, as a "farewell-from-school-but-welcome-to-the-profession" kinda thing. and over lunch, he spoke to us again about our dreams and our aspirations... and related to us his whole history as an OT. but this time round, there was something surreal... something in his voice and tone that spoke directly into us... he was not an educator... rather he transformed truly into the mentor and wise sage that we have come to appreciate in the three years of learning under him... and he shared precious words which will remain with me throughout my life.
in his sharing, he recalled how he never once needed to think about money. all he thought about was fulfilling his responsibility to his profession, and to his clients... and somehow... the money came to him without him needing to look for it. this reminded me of the concept of karma and blessedness in the vocation... that goodness will be rewarded with goodness as well... and that God is not blind or unjust. In Islam there is the concept of intent. if one intends to do good, then one will be rewarded with goodness. and it just echoed in me, that how despite not being Muslim, HB carried in him traits which were worthy of emulation.
and HB also said that its never about the money. he had the opportunity to earn a lot of money - in fact he was asked multiple times to give lectures at international conferences, which he would be given an honorarium for. HB would always return the honorarium to the committee as a donation. And he urged us to continually seek the presence of those elder and more experienced, and to renew our spirits and commitment to the profession through constantly engaging these pioneers, and to recharge our tired/burnt out mentalities.
HB also spoke of his own mentor, Tsuyoshi Sato Sensei, a japanese OT who recently passed away. HB was awarded with the Sato lecture award at the recent Asia-Pacific OT Conference, and it was indeed an emotional moment for him. And as he spoke, he reminded us of the situation that we were in, and that mentorship should be two-way, and that the need to continually mentor and be mentored should be a part of our nature... and inadvertently he offered himself as one who would help us along that path. I was honoured that he chose to use my snippets as opening and closing segments for his inaugural lecture. and indeed i am inspired by him to achieve more for myself and those around me.
wish me well.
HB took us out for lunch after the graduation ceremony, as a "farewell-from-school-but-welcome-to-the-profession" kinda thing. and over lunch, he spoke to us again about our dreams and our aspirations... and related to us his whole history as an OT. but this time round, there was something surreal... something in his voice and tone that spoke directly into us... he was not an educator... rather he transformed truly into the mentor and wise sage that we have come to appreciate in the three years of learning under him... and he shared precious words which will remain with me throughout my life.
in his sharing, he recalled how he never once needed to think about money. all he thought about was fulfilling his responsibility to his profession, and to his clients... and somehow... the money came to him without him needing to look for it. this reminded me of the concept of karma and blessedness in the vocation... that goodness will be rewarded with goodness as well... and that God is not blind or unjust. In Islam there is the concept of intent. if one intends to do good, then one will be rewarded with goodness. and it just echoed in me, that how despite not being Muslim, HB carried in him traits which were worthy of emulation.
and HB also said that its never about the money. he had the opportunity to earn a lot of money - in fact he was asked multiple times to give lectures at international conferences, which he would be given an honorarium for. HB would always return the honorarium to the committee as a donation. And he urged us to continually seek the presence of those elder and more experienced, and to renew our spirits and commitment to the profession through constantly engaging these pioneers, and to recharge our tired/burnt out mentalities.
HB also spoke of his own mentor, Tsuyoshi Sato Sensei, a japanese OT who recently passed away. HB was awarded with the Sato lecture award at the recent Asia-Pacific OT Conference, and it was indeed an emotional moment for him. And as he spoke, he reminded us of the situation that we were in, and that mentorship should be two-way, and that the need to continually mentor and be mentored should be a part of our nature... and inadvertently he offered himself as one who would help us along that path. I was honoured that he chose to use my snippets as opening and closing segments for his inaugural lecture. and indeed i am inspired by him to achieve more for myself and those around me.
wish me well.
graduation
came back to singapore end of june... and 5 days later it was graduation.
and it was a proud day for us OTs... with the top scholar being a friend from the course, and having a number of us go on stage to receive extra prizes... I was one of those... received the clinical prize as well for best performance during attachments... so what the hell was i so worried about? haha...
loved the robes they gave us... cos it was already Harry Potter mania... so the robes really made us feel..."magical"...
and HB gave me a most open and uninitiated hug... which i was so touched by. these teachers of ours really are something... and i am super honoured to be able to call them friends now.
only one thing peeved me and my peers off, that i was not able to give the graduation speech, because i could not attend rehearsals because i was away in indonesia... but what the hell, i felt that the replacement did a pretty fabulous job. haha.
and again... photos!!
with my parents - hope i made them proud and not regret their decision.
mentor and friend - hua beng
mentor and friend - dr uma
mentor - dr raj
mentor - ms ambel
lecturers and friends - charmaine, hwei lan, hua beng
kukula jo-ann nair from sri lanka expedition - physiotherapist
fadzilah from radiography.
ilyas sufi from dental therapy
harry potter pose - ming, ceyu, me, zhen zhen (top scholar), irene and jess
zixian and me!
me and zhen zhen!
me and wanru, dip with merit winner
me with fyp mates, wanru, ceyu and suet, and zz.
with hb, ceyu & wanru
OT0402
Sunday, July 15, 2007
inspirez
so when my sister's wedding was over and done with, i was caught up in another event - an overseas expedition project to dukun, magelang, central java. this was a trip in the making, with preparations stretching to 2 months back, and taunted by many threats of not being able to happen. but it finally did happen. and it was such a joy going there, and relearning about certain things in life that we sometimes lose in the rush of things.
i do not want to say much about this trip, cos like many trips, you have to be there to experience it, and no matter how much i choose to describe it, however eloquent i am, nothing i write can capture the essence of the trip - the emotional and spiritual aspects which are beyond words.
so as usual, let the pictures do the talking.
happy peeps at the airport. before the flight. cam-whoring.
at solo airport. not much of an airport, but it served its purpose.
part of the guys - nas, hus, haf
part of the gals - fat, fif, eni, fhar
part of the school and the community building
the welcoming party - one day late. because we were late.
mount merapi - morning view from the school.
mount merapi - unknown aspect.
all the guys - aizad, uan, naz, kamal, me, hus, nas, acap, fer, delta, haf, junlin
all the gals - nisa, liyana, tera, ain, eni, fhar, fif, fat, khai
how's this for a model shoot?
pak totok. his real name is super nice. and i cant remember it.
motor got eaten by lava.
trekking up the lava trail.
house got eaten by lava.
man contemplates nature 1.
man contemplates nature 2.
man contemplates nature 3. hafiz was a fitting subject for "kekerdilan insan dalam alam".
pop-group moment.
remembering those whose lives were sacrificed.
borobudur temple.
enlightened.
nazli appreciating art... like real.
step cool.
and when we weren't out, we were in psp-land.
the madness begins - carnival day. entertaining 500 people was no easy task.
lutfi and syafii.
kid beside me is called indra.
and the final pose in the room we helped design and makeover.
missing u all.
lucky for you all, we got a webbie too. so have a look. its sewukan.multiply.com. there are funny videos as well, so check those out.
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