know why you love, because to know is to love.

one cannot love blindly.
or rather one should not love blindly.

in the past, i used to think that love is altogether a non-tangible thing - that it can happen inconsequentially, or irreverently. that love at first sight was a possibility. that one can love without reason or rhyme.

and then recently, certain things happened, which brought me back to what the real world is.

there is no love without a desire that needs to be fulfilled.

unfortunately for the hopeless romantics out there, love begs a reason. love proclaims a want. and with love, comes expectations and hopes.

and that was the reason why i could become angry, why i did become angry at some people. because i had thought that my love was simple, that it did not come with any baggage. but it did. and with those expectations, came the possibility of being disappointed, which i so severely was.

but despite that, control came when i realised why i loved. knowledge of this is power, and it rationalises love to a point that it is distilled - cleared of the banality that is the human ego and psyche. and reflecting upon why i loved set me aside of myself. and i surprised myself by forgoing the disappointment. and to this point i still dunno how i did it.

this entry may not make sense to many or any of you. but its ok.

always been understated.
love you.

despite what you did.