coming to terms

i know i am not a perfect person. and neither do i act as if i am so. but to whosoever who thinks that i act that way, i apologise, and i would like to take the opportunity to state once again, that i am not perfect.

i am also, by the way, not the person you sometimes make me out to be. sometimes, i can say certain things, and carry myself with a certain flair, but that does not necessarily make me to be that person. circumstances and the environment can make me act differently, because one has to be adaptable and flexible to survive. but i do try to be as true to myself and to you as much as i can.

i may smile outside, but my insides may be bleeding from my self-inflicted wounds. i may speak well, but my inner voice is totally muted by the chaos that constantly erupts inside. i may seem calm and composed, but i am struggling to free myself from the shackles that bind my true being from living the way i want to.

i have come to terms with certain things that i will no longer be able to change, my past, my character, my behaviour, my mistakes, my life, my love, my faith.

i have come to terms with me.

i am not me. and i want to be me.

accept me.