human is beautiful, perfect is boring

that was what tyra banks said in the show "the next american top model". she was referring to the models trying to achieve a certain aura of perfection, which only made them look like every other model and no personal character to show.

how her words ring true.

last night, i had conversations with two people. and the conversations left me distressed. but its not a bad kind of distress, just a thinking and reflective me.

those who know me will maybe say that i have certain qualities. though my bad side does come out occasionally, i generally portray a rather genial and approachable person, and one who has his thoughts sorted out and life figured out in his own way. and personally, i do try my best to live up to whatever expectations that people have of me, and it is a personal effort to make myself appear the best that i am to anyone.

but it hurts when somebody comes up to you, and tells you that cracks are showing. well, that was what happened last night. somebody told me that i had cracks and that he could read it. and i was shocked, affected. i mean all this while, i thought that i was covering my tracks pretty well, but it seems that i screwed up somewhere. and somebody got a whiff of my scent. to be honest, at that moment in time, i was devastated. appalled at myself for not being able to be that person that i am striving to be or at least give the impression that i am so on the way to becoming that person. we all want to be somewhere, be someone and we try.

but when somebody gives you that slap in the face, you lose your drive.

i got slapped last night. and its not that i am not thankful. but i would appreciate it if people could be more honest without me having to ask. and if you do care for me as a friend, please do not be considerate to the point you do not tell me what my flaws are when you see them. i will know your consideration in the manner that you tell me.

and another friend got slapped too. and sadly in a manner which does not befit her compassion and grace.

we are all human, and beautiful in our own ways. truly, we need to have our flaws and our weaknesses. but what matters is that we strive to achieve betterment and make our lives fulfilling despite the flaws. and what is sad, is that some people sometimes just don't bother.

so are these people beautiful too?