daughter from danang: the commentary

that first part was a narrative, so it was slightly long. but here now are my views and thoughts about the content of the documentary.

i was very moved by the whole piece. truly.

there could not be a more apt and concise portrayal of firstly,the cultural disparity between asians and americans and secondly, the effects of war. i am not blaming any one party for any fault. rather i am just truly saddened by the fact that they (the disparity and effects) exist, and in their existence, cause such pain to whichever party that has to bear the consequences.

it was unfortunate that they had to be separated. but look at the consequences. mother and child no longer see each other as what they are meant to be. and what really made me cry was the fact that there was not the slightest hint of an emotional bond between the daughter and the mother. war caused this. and the effects are irreversible. the child cannot appreciate the mother for who she is, and for her sacrifices. there is no love for the person who bore her and gave birth to her. and all the time, she could not understand what her mother was trying to say to her. and she makes no effort to understand. as it is, a mother's love is deeper than one can perceive superficially. but Heidi, lacking heart, could not see the pain that her mother felt, the pain when she had to give Heidi away, the pain of feeling unloved, the pain of her leaving the family once more, the pain of not hearing from her, the pain of the loss of a child. Heidi, as civilised as she was, could not see the tears that her mother shed in silence, awaiting for her reply and her acceptance. i felt the mother's pain, and i could totally empathise with the mother. understandably Heidi comes from America and is supposedly better educated and lives more luxuriously. but if she could not even bring herself to see her mother's pain, and in the very least, appreciate and reciprocate that love that her mother showed her with no qualms, i would have to say, that her education and her luxury, will mean nothing. so much for being progressive, she cannot even accept the condition of her family. and that is what made me very disappointed.

the cultural disparity was proven in this piece. the asian tradition and way of life is based on such a deep respect and love for the family, and respect and piety remains a priority in the life of many asians. giving back to the family is actually common-place practice among many races and religions, especially so if you are asian. this is one culture that i see that sets us apart from the westerners, who at some instances, show an utter lack of respect to the elders and to the family unit as a whole. Heidi demonstrated this albeit perhaps unconsciously. she was not willing to give back to the family, not that i would expect her to give all that she has. but a simple promise would have been sufficient. a simple word of acceptance and understanding and a willingness to attempt would have made her mother so happy. her mother was the one who understood her, rather than she understanding the plight of her family and the nature of their requests. like her family said, they may be materially poor, but their love is rich. that signals that all that they really want is for her to love them. if she could support them financially, she is welcome to. but if she could not, then her emotional presence and support would do more than enough to keep them going. but she would not even give them that chance. she would not give herself the chance to love her own family. and i think that is very very sad.

she did not even cry when her mother cried. well, now i am going to get prejudiced. i cannot stand children who do not appreciate their parents, especially the mother. and if a child is not moved by his mother crying, i really do not know what to think of him.

emo. sigh.