a journey to be remembered

i wrote before, that i was anticipating the end of the camp, when we would sit down and say, "Alhamdulillah, that was a great camp. Great job everyone."
 
that day has come and gone. and it is my turn to express my feelings.
 
it is not easy to adequately cover the myriad of emotions that ran through me during the camp itself. but i shall try to encapsulate what i can in my writing, and hopefully, this would be enough for those who read. the rest that remains unwritten is up for inferences, and secretly for those who went through the camp itself and now find themselves lost for words too.
 
VENATORIS '04 is a journey to be remembered.
 
I remember when i was invited to join the committee as the camp coordinator. At the insistence of Rezuan, i accepted, but never really knowing the things that i would be getting myself into. The first time i got to know the committee, i was not really very clear as to the direction of the camp, and as to the synergy and dynamics of the people involved. My judgements of characters were not very helpful. I realised that i needed to be more involved and get to know them.
 
There were the initial meetings that i attended, but they proved to be too short for me to make relevant analyis on people. the few that i knew were namely, Rezuan and Iqbal. Even Abu, Syaiful, Nasir and my co-coordinator Fadiah were distant people at that time. Then when the exams drew near, and we had to push meetings till after they passed, i lost touch with all that i needed to know.
 
after the exams, there was a lethargy in everyone which meant slow work. but the spirit eventually picked up, but not without the conflicts and disagreements and spats between individuals, departments and committees. I remember at a point in time when almost everyone was at everyone else's neck. fortunately the disagreements were settled before they degenerated further. the spirit of VENATORIS blazed in everyone's mind and pushed us onwards towards that common goal, now successfully achieved.
 
but at that period of time, i had many commitments - work, school application, tarian. and i am sorry to say that i had to give up much time, and VENATORIS did not receive my full attention.
 
I hereby apologise to the committee for my absence from the many meetings that i was supposed to be there for. I apologise to Abu for not being there beside him when he needed me. I apologise to Fadiah for not being around to take the brunt of the appointment and leaving her open to all the criticisms and bad misconceptions. I apologise to Rezuan and the programmers for not being there to support their work when they were placed under fire from all sides. I apologise to Suhaila and Saliha for not assisting in publicity till late. My contributions to this camp are not much at all, but you all did a wonderful job nonetheless.
 
but as someone who sat on the boundaries and looked in while you all worked, i would have to say that the success of the camp was nothing short of a miracle, brought about by pure intentions, faith, brotherhood, strength and unity.
 
and these were indeed values that i re-learnt in the camp. most importantly, faith. i never truly realised how much faith bound us together. faith gave us the pure intentions, faith gave us strength, faith bestowed unity among us, and faith blessed us with brotherhood. faith was what made us work together and rise above our petty selves, faith brought us our ideas and limits. faith was what moved the camp.
 
there were times when i felt insulted, there were times when i felt that certain comments were unnecessary, there were times when i felt that i was not doing enough, there were times when i was utterly stretched, there were times when i was angry at those i loved, there were times when i was lost and unsure, there were times when i just could not figure out what i was feeling.
 
but all that became unimportant.
 
at the end of the camp, when we sang together, i felt our spirit. when we apologised to each other, all was forgiven. when you said those words that meant so much to me, i brought it into myself and held on to it.
 
when we cried together, when i kissed you and you kissed me and we held each other close, that was what mattered to me.
 
i was never very good at partings. so i comfort myself by saying that that was not a parting at all. and i will try my best to make that true. you all never really lost me, i am always beside you when you need me.
 
and i know that i never really lost you too, for our gift to each other is eternal.
 


 
Rezuan, Iqbal, Abu, Nasir, Syaiful, Hakim, Hafiz Kamal, Shahih, Jabbar, Hafiz Mustaffa, Ashraf, Din, Rohaizad, Lukman, Rizal, Hafiedzul, Herman, Siddiq, Ahmad, Firdaus, Fadiah, Farhana, Farhanah, Marlina, Mazlinah, Firza, Karima, Shikin, Suhaila, Miza, Khairiah, Shahisdah, Ira, Suhaila, Maisarah, and all those whom i may have missed out...

I love you, my brothers and sisters. May Allah guide and bless you all.