khalil's departure

khalil left singapore on thursday 30 sept to study electrical and electronic engineering at imperial college in the uk.

before he left, he invited his friends over to his house on the preceding saturday. i had my conference that day, but i rushed to his house after the gala dinner, just so that we could meet up and i could express my emotions. when i reached there, there was already a crowd. muslim, hasan, adib, syahid, aisah, murshidah, faris, widya, hamla, lala and ali were the ones i knew there. these are my juniors (with the exception of faris and ali) from school, and a great bunch of people they are. however that night was kind of weird, being the only representative from my clan. in fact i felt old and removed from the group. in a sense, there was a subtle acknowledgment that my juniors were all grown up now. I used to refer to them as my babies, my children - but now they are really not child-like. they have matured and grown, and it took me that long to realise it... but it was a good realisation nonetheless. I was filled with a sense of poignancy that night.

i sent him on thursday - azfar came last minute, but thanks for that. all grown up, my dear boy khalil said his goodbyes to his friends as the time came for him to board the plane. as he came to me, i held him, read him a short prayer. he held me back, and kissed my shoulder. and at that moment, i remembered him as my junior once more, ever appealing and endearing to me. Lord, keep him safe in his journey and guide him to what is good and blessed.

that aside, i realise that the juniors speak to me in a different tone and mannerism than when they speak to azfar or taufiq. funny.