what's there left to celebrate?

i remember not too long ago having a chat with one of my friends.
and she said something about never actually having celebrated raya.
she never felt the spirit of raya.

and in my heart, i was thinking, "how sad for her..."

but this year, with all the things happening, i find myself in her same shoes. well perhaps not that i am really in her same situation, but the feeling, that there is nothing worth celebrating, resonates true inside me.

putih hati, kata orang.

tahun ini, raya pertama berhamburan.
raya bersama teman tidak dihiraukan.
semangat persaudaraan, bagaikan kian pudar dan hilang dari ingatan.
hilang erti beraya jika tiada makna yang mampu ku aqadkan kepada sambutan.

for all that it is worth, i shall grant reasonable doubt to whatever it is.
but the one thing that i had actually looked forward to, i shall now despise.

i will visit who i want, when i want. and those whom i make an effort to visit, will know that they matter more to me.

those whom i deign not even be courteous to, then serves you right.

tantrum?

no.

broken.