i place limits on myself so that i will not transgress whatever principles i have set in my actions and behaviour. and one of the most important limits that i have placed is the limit to my following emotions till it hurts people.
well, yesterday, being the emotional day that it was, left me with a really bad headache, which did not seem to subside even as the day passed. and all my planning for the time did not fall through, how i was supposed to spend my time dancing and then going for supper.
well, the absence for the dance was because of an insult which i took too personally, when the guy already said that he only meant it as a joke...and that he would support me if i took part in anything. but i chose to carry my emotions too far, and as a result, i did not go. i affected the two who did, and made one of them really pissed. for which i am sorry.
and since i did not go for the dance, and foreseeing the state of emotions that the two would be in, i decided against the supper as well.
but as it happened, the dance went very well, and the supper happened as well. and without me. i mean it is good that they can go on without me, because that is what i would have happen rather than having them being affected and cancelling plans altogether when i was the one with the mood swings. but it made me feel bad that i made a promise, or rather sort of gave my word, but then did not hold on to it. in that, i overstepped my boundaries.
but with respect to that someone, well, we had a meeting just now. and it was ever so apparent how apathetic that someone was. and i realised that i was actually affected by it. when i should not be. and i will try to not be. however, even a very close companion said that he could only sense a very superficial level of relationship with that someone when i brought up the issue.
which says that it is not my fault for feeling like this.
and that i am not overstepping my boundaries.
i like feeling correct.
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